US Army Girlfriend. Trying to Survive Future Deployment

My soldier is in ft drum getting ready for deployment #2 to iraq. i've felt myself pushing away from him as i am heart broken and extremely sad he's leaving. His first deployment to iraq, i didnt know him and dating him i never realized how hard this was gonna be when he leaves. This is the last week i have with him since he is on leave before he goes away. My heart is broken. any advice?

armygf43086 armygf43086
22-25
3 Responses Mar 22, 2009

Ps... pushing away is natural... feeling heartbroken or even angry is natural too... don't be too hard on yourself about those things... being with a soldier is hard work and you'll go through a lot on the account of him and because of him and his job, but its totally worth it... I guess its totally up to you if being with him is what you want to do... but if you do, I think you'll surprise yourself with how strong you are and/or can become.

I'm in the 2nd week of DB being gone and I finally feel back on my feet! For the first 4 days I cried and cried and wondered how I was gonna go on... but what helped me was one joining a group like this online and finding others going throught the same thing... I'm in school so I buried myself in school and most of all I started to work out again. Basically the best advice I was given was to get busy... and make sure you EAT and try to SLEEP as much as you can! its not easy to do these things, but they're so important. Sometimes I still tear up when something little reminds me of him, but I don't let myself cry for long. So I guess my advice for you is to mope for a few days at most, but then try to get busy and things will start to brighten up! You're strong and you can do this! :)

I haven't been though a deployment yet so it wouldn't really be helpful to you for me to give you advise :) But I'm defiantly here if you need support! And I think you should get the book "Separated by Duty, United in Love" By: Shellie Vandervoorde. Its such a good book I ordered it off of Amazon for like $8. It talks about how to deal with deployments and separations and the games our heads play and how to deal with things while he's gone and how to deal with things when he comes back, its a great book and it has a lot of great advise! =D She brings in other peoples perspectives to, and how they handled different situations and it really helped me out! I think you could get a lot out of it! <br />
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Good luck girl!