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New To The Group- Worried!

Hi all!

So glad I found this group...it's my first time writing anything, but it seems like if anyone would understand what I'm going through it would be you ladies. So my boyfriend Shawn & I have been together about 6 years, and he recently completed basic training & is now doing OCS at Fort Benning. Luckily he is only about 3 hours from me, but unfortunately that hasn't lessened the strain on our relationship. Recently, I find myself wondering if being an Army wife is something I want. I love him with all my heart, & obviously after so long together we know we make an amazing team. I am scared of this new future he has chosen though. I am so proud of him, but I can't escape the fears- how much time apart will this mean, and can our relationship survive it? Can I be the kind of girl who will follow a man across the country, maybe around the world, for his training & service? Will I be ok with having to relocate & leave careers behind?

Is anyone else in the same boat, or feeling the same? Have some of you ladies been where I am? If so, any advice or insight would be so wonderful!

Thanks in advance! Brett Marie

BrettB930 BrettB930 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 22, 2010

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Thanks for the comments girls! It helps a lot just to get others' perspectives & know that other girls are going through the same things as I am. I guess I am just trying to take it one day at a time....get through today, then tomorrow, then next week. I do love him, and I know loving him means loving this part of him too. <br />
And to my other Brett Marie- That is soooo funny!!! I have never met another girl Brett, let alone one who shares my middle name too! What a small world. :)

WOW so you have my exact first and middle name and we're both with an army man haha, the world's a funny place. <br />
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So I understand what you're going through. My fiance is over in Afghanistan right now and it is hard. Being in the military myself I understand how things work that you may not but in the end it doesn't make the lonely nights any easier. It's hard knowing he's away from home and that you're pretty much there all by yourself. It's true, it would be easier for me to be with a man who wasn't in the military but honestly if you love them enough, and you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with them then it makes all those sleepless nights full of worry and fear worth it. It makes it worth it when they come home and you remember all the reasons why you fell in love and continue to be in love with them to begin with. It is hard, and I would love to say it gets easier, but it doesn't. If your love is true and it's strong then fight for the one you love, make it worth it, let him know how much you care and support him.<br />
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If in the end you don't think you can take it, which is very common and nothing to be ashamed of, many people can't handle the stress and harshness of this kind of life you need to move on. If you've put in 6 years though I would think long and hard before you make any decisions about leaving just because sometimes it's hard. Is all the good moments worth sacrificing just because sometimes it's going to be hard?

You can ask anyone who knew me from before I was married...marrying someone (let alone a Army soldier) was something I didn't want for many many MANY years. Well, I got married at 18. I am 19 and my entire outlook on life has changed. I would follow my husband to the center of the earth if I had to. I love him with all my heart. My goals didn't disappear...they changed. I can still go to school, still have a life. Things I once swore I would never do I now do by choice not obligation. I enjoy cleaning up and cooking. I love writing thank you cards and remembering his family birthdays. I know his job takes precedence over mine and I am fine with that...he is way more passionate about his and I can go to school anywhere. Love is a powerful thing...don't rush it but do trust it.