Well, my man leaves the day after tomorrow to go back to Iraq. He's been home on R&R and i wish i could tell you ladies how amazing it was. But i can't, and that leaves me completely lost. I was soooo excited to see him and the minute he walked through the doors at the airport i got the butterflies i knew were coming. However, the days that followed turned into something i wasn't expecting. i've know him since i was a sophomore in highschool, and i knew how he was on the internet these last 5 months he's been gone. but the person he was at home, wasn't what i was expecting. I'm different than most girls, mostly due to my past, i am a very independent girl and i don't like being babied or anything. i need my space to feel comfortable and he knows that, i have a problem with get cranky pretty easily and i feel myself getting irritated with him constantly, he isn't at all how he was the last 5 months. i feel like he is a whole different person. we talked last sunday and he went crazy punching the wall screaming at me and storming out of the room. i don't want this to end i really don't but part of me feels it has to. we have had the talk of breaking up like 4 times now but we always wind up back together and part of me feels there is a reason for it and part of  me feels that we both are too scared to not be together. i dont know what to do anymore ladies. i feel like we lost all the romance. none of my friends know what to tell me cuz they don't know how this all feels. i know im supposed to do what makes me happy - but i don't even know what that is. im so proud of him and the person he has become, but lately it seems like i dont know who he is. i feel bad cuz im constantly fighting with him and we are both irritated with each other to the max. and its not like we are sick of seeing each other so much because in all honesty we haven't done a whole lot over his r and r which bothered me too. im sorry i probably sound like a ***** but any help would be completely appreciated. i've run out of ideas and im looking to you ladies to help me through it cuz ya'll have done it time and time before. sorry this was so lengthy. take care and i love ya'll!

waitinformysoldier11 waitinformysoldier11
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 8, 2010

hey girl i have been there me n my bf broke up 3 times before we decide to get married relax it a bumpy road it will all work out in the end not worry ...keep clam remind him how much he means to you everything will be fine message me if you need anything at all

Girl its rough. I cant say I know exactly what you are goin through but when my boyfriend came come around christmas for r&r after being in iraq he was so everything i missed and it was the most amazing feeling to have him in my arms but one night after coming home from the bar he flipped, screaming at me as well, and he wasnt the same man i know it was partially alcohol related but i have never seen him the way he was that night. as it came closer to him going back we were back to normal but now that he's gone thing have gotten a bit different again its just not the same. I dont know about you but I see a long future with my man and im gonna hold on to hi and just give him the support till he's home and hope things return to what they were when he get back. If you love him and he loves you, you have to hold on because those men are going through too much, if like you said you both are afraid of being apart i honestly think you two are meant to be. I wish you and your man the best of luck truly. god bless