It's Amazing How One Little Piece Of Paper Can Turn Your Whole World Around...

Here is a little background story:

He was a mutual friend of my roommates so, he would frequent the apartment though we didn't really interact the first couple of times that I saw him there. We met a few years before, back in high school, we even went to dinner together with a mutual friend (who happens to be my roommate), but we never became friends or so much remain on a "Hi-bye" basis. Well, two weeks after we moved in,  my other roommate was out and our mutual friend was locked up in his room arguing with his then girlfriend so, when it came time for Kyle to leave, I jokingly fought him on it...and then held him hostage. Now before you take me for a loony, it was all in jest- he walked out of the apartment saying how I couldn't prevent him from leaving, but he forgot one major detail- I look down to the table next to me and there lay his car keys. So, I smiled and ran to the kitchen exit (with is opens just a little farther down the hall than my front door) and held out the keys in front of me, jingled them a bit with a big grin on my face and said "Forgetting something?" before running back in. Well, he chased me around the apartment, we wrestled around for the keys, even did this weird struggling for the keys that made it look like we were doing a twisted version of the tango. lol. He eventually got his keys back, but not without having a nasty bruise from me having bitten him, and promised to come back the next day. ..the issue was, I worked 30 minutes away and had to be at work by 0500 the day after next, so I wasn't coming back the next day so I could spend the night as my parents house which was closer to my job.

Well, he did come back to the apartment the next day and so did I, in spite of the fact that I told him I wasn't going to, and I even ended up falling asleep right next to him on the giant beanbag chair, he of course didn't wake me and fell asleep cuddled up with me...which, for anyone who knew him well, that was a surprise because he hates sleeping with someone next to him because he can't sleep well. Guess I was special for some reason. =)

He ended up spending most of his time at the apartment for the next few days and we became more and more open with laying with each other on the giant beanbag chair under the covers...until my roommate's cat decided to use the beanbag chair instead of the litter box. >.< So, he ended up staying in my room with me and we ended kissing for the first time that night. (needless to say, I wasn't so upset with the cat after that. ^_^) then came the drama of everyone trying to get us to actually say we like each other and everyone pressuring Kyle to ask me out. The reason he didn't want to was because he was leaving to the army in a few months and he didn't want to put me through a long distance relationship or just date me and break up with me before he left...Well, 09-01-09, he did end up asking me to be his girlfriend and I of course said yes. ^^ He was kicked out of his parents' house shortly after and so we lived together for 98% of our relationship.

The hard part- We always thought he couldn't get out of leaving to the military and when he found out he could, he came to me torn...he wanted to stay for me, but didn't know if he would ever be able to be accepted into the army again if anything happened...I hate the concept of the miliary like there is no tomorrow (No, I will not debate this topic with you- it's how I feel) but I do respect anyone who will go so far for something they believe in. Well, of course I wanted him to stay, but the way I saw it, he came to me as a friend asking for advice and, when it comes to giving my advice, I always approach things at a strictly logical viewpoint and leave emotions at the front door. So I told him that we're young and we may grow, possibly even apart in time, so he had to do what was best for him and his future- I had to make him think about whether or not he'd regret staying if we broke up. I told him "A few years in the military pales in in comparison to a lifetime of regret- I'll wait for you, assuming that is something you want me to do and, if not, I'll send you off with a bittersweet smile and wish you the best...and move on."

He decided to go.

Before he left, we bought one another rings as momentos of our time together and he even cried our last night together...he actually cried. Anyone who knows Kyle only knows of one other time that he cried and that was when he was like fourteen and his dog got hit by a car and died in his arms.

He told me that he never thought he could feel this way with anyone or anyone could make him this happy and he'll come back for me...it sounds cliche, I know, but he's not one to express his emotions, so I was more than happy to hear those words.

1.21.09 he left for Ft. Jackson, SC. for BCT.

I was a wreck the last two weeks before he left and the day of, but every day after that I ignored it...We got to text while he was on his way there because someone was left behind so they had to turn around, and even a bit in reception and I even got two short phone calls a day till he officially started BCT 1.28.09. Then I started unraveling a week later- All the stresses of life I never let get to me while he was around started weighing down on me, I lost sleep, got sick, and no one understood how I felt. I even lashed out at my roommate as he IM'd me from work, telling me how it's not as bad as when his girlfriend broke up with him and moved away and to think happy thoughts. so, I responded:

"Try not being able to sleep because the one you love isn't next to you and, should physical exhaustion push you to the limit, when you did fall asleep all you see is them, only to keep waking up every ten minutes or so because a part of you keeps thinking that, when you open your eyes, they'll be right there next to you...only to have the sickening reality of their absence pull at your heartstrings..try wishing you could run till you can't anymore, all the while wishing somehow you could close the distance between you two...try feeling the desperation that comes with knowing there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to be with them or even afford the luxury of hearing their voice...try recounting every single f****** mistake you made you made while they were around, try wishing you accepted every loving gesture for what it was because now you have nothing...try being reminded of them by every single thing you do because you spent almost every waking moment together...THEN TELL ME TO THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!"

I had never tolerated anyone for more than a few short hours a week before just because I had alwys been more of a loner, I never even wanted to see or talk to my exes everyday, so this is why Kyle was such a huge deal, he's the only person I have ever not minded being around nearly 24/7 in my entire life, the only person I ever WANTED to be around that often....and he was just gone.

Well, I went to his parents' house and he had apparently sent me a letter from basic, it was short but still...it was so amazing how a little piece of paper could turn my whole world around...like suddenly, I just knew I could do this...

I am 19 years old. I know I am young. I know I have my whole life ahead of me. I know I'll change and I know he will too...but what I know one thing that outweighs all other factors, I love him. I'm not saying we'll be together forever, I know this isn't a fairytale, but I've made my decision to wait. To be loyal to a man who decided to put his loyalty to his country above all else. I'm a United States Army Girlfriend.

YakuDarling YakuDarling
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

WOW!!! Well put together story! I dont even know what to say right now! but Wow and kuddos! Well put together girl!