New At This Whole Thing...don't Know What To Do.

Hi, my boyfriend, Joe of 2 months now just left for basic yesterday morning. It's the first time we've been apart since we started dating. I know two months doesn't seem like a long time but I've known him for the past 5 years of my life. He's always been there and they last 6 months we've gotten really close, especially once we started dating. See he's my brother's best friend so he was always at my house and now all of a sudden he's gone for at least 9 weeks.  The funny thing is if  you would have told me 3 months ago that I'd be dating him, I would laugh at you. He was the one friend of my brother that I said I would never date and now look at where I am. After Joe graduates basic, he goes to AIT for 39 weeks! I thought 9 weeks was long. Since his AIT is so long anyone know if he will get a break in between basic & AIT? I'm going to write him a little bit everyday so that way when I get his first letter I can send him all mine and he'll know how much I miss him and he won't be wondering so much on how I'm doing.  It's been hard so far though. Last night I bawled my eyes out because I couldn't talk to him. I'm so used to talking to him every night until one of us fell asleep.  This morning when I woke up for school I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying especially once I got to school and everyone kept talking and asking about it.  I know they're all trying to help but none of the know what it's like to be going through this.  It's like someone is standing on my chest.  I just feel so lost and empty without him here.  I don't want him to know how much it hurts though. I wouldn't even let him see me cry when we said goodbye. I feel if I do then he'll feel bad, he already told me once if he could go back 4 months ago and know he was going to date me he would have never enlisted.  Which made me feel like crap because he wants to do it, it's his dream even though it's hard I would never want him to give up his dreams for me. This is one of the hardest tasks I've taken on in my life but it will be worth it in the end & when we do get to see each other that time will be more precious than most people realize. It will make our relationship so much stronger & together we'll be alright. I will wait for him just like he'll have to wait for me when I go to college and medical school.

What do you guys do to pass the time & keep your mind off of it?

How much longer until it gets easier?

If any of you need to talk I'm here, even if I'm not a big help I'll listen & try my best.

(hardest thing to do is be an Army girlfriend, fiance or wife)


missmytoughguy missmytoughguy
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Everything will always be hard but believe me you alaways have girls on here to talk to you, umm to answer somw of your questions my bf had time off between bct and ait, about 2 weeks but ait isnt so bad i get to talk to my bf every night, but my bf only had ait for like 12 weeks. Umm thibgs to keep you busy, schoolwork is mostly what i do and im also learning a new laungage my bf is going to korea so im trying to learn some korean. If you ever need a friend to talk about you can always message me, i know what its like and i hopw it gets easier(: - delaney

I totaly understand where your comming from my man just left for basic on the 7th and I miss him so much! That first week for me was terrible I was sad all the time. Then after almost three weeks of hearing nothing I got a phone call from him. I was so excited I never expected to get a call, but he just wanted me to know that he was alright, that he had already sent me letters, that he missed me, and that he loved me! After our minute conversation (the best phone call ever!!!) I ran out to the mailbox and found my letters!!! That made my entire week! Look forward to the letters they are the best things and I've been writing him ever since. We can do this because we LOVE our men and they need us. Be strong girl and I'm here for you! If you wanta talk feel free to message me.

My boy just got done at basic, so I know exactly how it feels! It's really hard, but you learn to handle it together, and it gets easier over time. I had given up a lot of my friends because I was spending so much time with him, so it was really hard when he left, but I tried to keep myself busy. And while he's in AIT he'll get a lot more freedom so that will be easier for you guys. :) I used to think that EVERYTHING was about him, and most of it still is, I love him to death, but I realized I have my own life to live, and my own dreams to fulfill, so focus on those! You'll get through this. :) It will make your relationship stronger too.


it does get easier when you start getting his letters an able to write back an forth its hard when you just dont get anything. time does fly by tho what can you do while hes away is live your own life like before theres no differnce really just hang out with friends go to work go to school do your thing an just write an think about him everyday. this is nothing compared to everything else.

Less than a year ago I was in the same place you were girly. I know exactly how hard it is to see your man leave for basic, and rarely get to talk to them. :[ The good news is! With every day that passes, things get a little bit easier! Keep yourself busy and focused on school! That's very important! He would want you to succeed in school! And, in my free time I hang out with my friends or scrapbook or read. These are all things I enjoy to do! I would encourage you to write him every day! I wrote my soldier every night and send the letters every few days. Usually I would send them twice a week. It might take a while for you to recieve a letter from him, but don't panic! It'll get there! And you might even get multiple letters! :D Feel free to message me! :D I am here to help and really like making new friends who understand what the military girlfriend life is like!