Pissed Off My Soldier

My boyfriend Ty who has been in Iraq since September, randomly IMed me couple minutes ago asking me to be completely honest about if I have flirted, gone on a date, cheated, lied to him about anything since he has been gone. So I did. My response wasnt the most appealing to him. In December things between him & me became war. I know the things he said to me wasnt the most nice things in the world & it was just because he was pissed off about being in Iraq. I was pissed off because his words were daggers to my heart. I constantly put my feelings on the table for him & he smashed them everytime. All I wanted to hear was "Baby I miss you too" or something in that category. So my best friend decided she was going to take me out & get my mind off of my *** of a bf. We went to a hookah bar (yes mistake # 1) then she & I decided we were going to participate in jello wrestlng an the bikini contest (mistake # 2) We got drunk (mistake #3). Then Ty calls me & what do I do? I lie my *** off & tell him I dropped Taylor (my bestie) & Camille off. Well, back to a few minutes ago on the IM Ty asked me what i stated in the 1st sentence. So I told him. He pretty much told me I dont care about him as much as he thought. I've tried explaining to him how I felt him breaking my heart everyday & all i require is to know that he cares about me still & he wont even give that to me. Im not making an excuse for what I did because I was in the wrong for that night, but Im at a crossroads. He pretty much told me he doesnt love m Ane every day. All I wanted was someone to tell me they love & care about me. So I made that dumb choice. Didnt cheat or come close to cheating but its still messed up. Any advice to what I should do or say to him next time he decides to talk to me?!

MeagedyAnne MeagedyAnne
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 26, 2010

I know it may hurt to hear him say the things he did but brush it off and do you. He may just be going through some things and didn't mean what he said. My man left for Ft. Carson last Wed. and me and my girls went out 3 days straight. He told me "oh you were just waiting for me to leave so you could get loose" we both laughed it all but he knew I partied b4 him and I'm sure not gonna stop because he left. You will drive your self crazy! The things you did aren't mistakes at all just be safe while you do whatever it is you do and don't do anything you may regret in the end. We all miss our soliders but we have to have a life and stay sane for ourself and them as well.

i completely agree with evansgrl...you NEED to have your own life while he's away, and you can't be miserable sitting at home missing him. it hurts too much to be lonely allt he time. I was just out last night dancing with my girls from college and had some drinks. my guy told me "have a good time sweetheart" . I of course still missed him wishing i had him there dancing with me, but i got out. I wish you guy understood. Trust is #1. It's not like you're cheating and you were honest with him...eventually. <br />
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The only thing i can think of...is he's possibly wondering if you're lying about something else (bigger) because it took you so long to tell him this. For example..My boyfriend kept the truth from me about a certain situation w/ a friend, i ended up finding details out through the grapevine...and i confronted him about it. he was completely honest, but i shouldn't have had to ask him to begin with. he left out some pretty important details from his story. If he was going to lie about something kind of mediocre...what else is he lying about? u know?<br />
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Anyway, you did nothing wrong...keep livin it up! :)

girl mistake 1 isnt a mistake.. have a life or u suppose to not go out just cuz hes out there? mistake 2 okay yea that was bad lol but you had funnn.. mistake 3 issnt bad as long as your not being a drunken ***** you knw.. live your life the same way as he were here.. dnt change your life period... just dnt lie.. maybe hes super senseitive about that stuff.. but my fiance who is basic knws what i do who i hang out with everynight an i go out to clubs i go dancing not with other guys my girls an i drink an have a great time... im not going to chnge my life an waste it waiting in my room for him to walk thru the doors live yours an always have him in your mind when doing so that way you dnt do reallly regretful things

Well girl I was dumped by mine today for caring too much and he's deployed in haiti. I wish I knew what they think half the time. We are all in this together. Just let him cool off. Dont write or message him. As my aunt says.. Make him miss you and want you. He''ll come around. hope that helps