Seriously Thinking Of Walking Away..please Help!

Well ladies I really need help.  You all have probably know how up and down my fiance and I are and how much we argue.  Well Now he pushed the last button and I am thinking of wakling away.  We share a bank account and have for about a month now.  I may not have as much as him coming into the account but i have almost the same.  So its pretty much equal.  Well my car needs a new part so I cant really drive it at all and I need it for work and to go out.  I also have doctors bills coming up cause i had surgery done.  I told him the other morning that I will be taking money out ot fix my car.  He lost it on me and flipped out and told me no.  I told him he couldnt tell me no cause my money is in there and its my money i will be paying for it with.  So I didnt go get it fixed because he couldnt really talk to me so we couldnt discuss it.  I log onto the account to see how much is in there a few hours later to find out he went and bought a $800 stero system for his truck!!

Girls I was never so mad in my life at him. I was so ready to just leave him.  I went and took all of my money out of the account and opened up my own.  I called him and tried to keep my cool with the whole thing until he told me that its not important that my car doesnt get fixed and i dont need to pay my doctor bills. he likes nice things so he needed the stero system for his truck.  hIs parents told me to leave him that i dont need this.  After our last talk he sent me a text saying that he isnt sure if i am meant for him cause i am not happy being with him and i have to have my hand on top of his which i dont what he did was so messed up.  I have never been so madat him then i am right now.  his roommate and I are real close and we have been talking because he pretty much knows evrything and he said as well that i dont need this and that jeff is wrong.  I love him so much and he does to but i cant deal with him and put up with this.  The distance and not seeing each other is bad enough do i really need to put up with his s*** on top of it.  I told him and he knows how mad i am at him.  He is doing his best to change thiings but i need awhile to calm down from this. I really dont know how much longer i can put up with this.. DO I TELL HIM TO COME HOME? He has leave days and was going to come home in september but do i tell him he needs to come hom in April?  I think we need to be face to face but i dont want to tell him that he has to come home.  What do i do?

armygf11 armygf11
26-30, F
12 Responses Mar 1, 2010

Thank you all for the help and its been a huge support for me. I dont know what i would do without it.

As for you cell bill have it shut off.. report it stolen..

Girl dump him and find someone new. He isn't worth the heartache. If you stay with him your stupid. No one needs to be treated the way you are. Read this stuff you have posted on here. You aren't happy at all. MOVE ON..CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND DON'T CONTACT HIM.

I'm so glad you took that money out of the joint bank account! He doesn't have his priorites straight and is only thinking about himself. Maybe it will take for you guys to have some time apart for him to realize he is missing a good thing. I hope you guys can work through this and he will wake up and start acting mature about serious situation like that.


I would figure out what you want out of life, out of a spouse. Try not to think of him, but more of an abstract "I want to be financially stable" or something like that. I was in a relationship with a man, and I loved him greatly. Unfortunately we did not want the same thing out of life. Breaking up SUCKED, but I can honestly say I am sooo happy now. I found someone who appreciates me, and wants the same thing as me. I guess basically what I am saying is be selfish, go for what you want out of life, because in the end, if he is the right person, he will mature and figure his stuff out. The only thing I can say is that you cannot change him, he is the only one that can do that. Besides, no matter if you break up or he changes, you deserve WAYYY better than what he is giving you right now. Well I hope you figure it all out, good luck

Thats a hard one but you do what is right for you! What he did to you is not alright and i know i wouldn't want to live unhappy and always fighting, but you seem to really love him so it's whats best for you girl. Hope you get everything figured out.

You asked him to leave you? Wasn't he saying pretty much the same thing to you a little while back? You're both telling each other to leave. I think you're both on the same page, but it's like the last page in the book, if u get what i'm saying. :-/ Who knows, maybe u need this time to grow...whose to say it couldnt work in the future??? it could. it just sounds like he has some growing up to do. trust me, you can't change a guy, it's impossible. If it's meant to happen it will. Keep your head up girl!

I am afraid to let go cause i dont want to lose him but i cant take him. I need the phone plan changed out of my name into his so i can get my father a phone on my name but just him causehe wants to pay the bill. Verizon wanted like 100 dollars to do it and jeff wouldnt do it! He said he cant pay that much!! I flipped out him completely and told him to leave me cause i cant do this. I feel as though i love him but i hate him!

first off..i'm happy you decided to get your money out of the same account...i wouldn't get a joint account like that until you're married with kids and own a house or something. you never know what could have happened. I think he's messed up buying something he wanted with that money...when you NEEDED to fix your car. Money is a very big issue in a lot of relationships..and if you have two completely different views on it, it will just cause problems. he's obviously not mature enough to deal with his money in a smart manner. I think i would let him come home and talk face to face about these things. If you were to end things, it doesnt mean u don't love him, he's just not going to be able to provide stability. and i know at least to me, that's important...especially if you were planning on having kids one day. <br />
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i don't know what else to say...i feel like you made up your mind already, but you're afraid to let go.

Do what's best for you...everyone has a different level of tolerance for certain things and only you know what you can take girl. I've read some of your stories and it seems like you've given him so many chances...I hope it gets better

the decision is your, but besides he needs to grow up he may be a person that wants control you may be heading for a very unhappy life if this is the way things are now do not wait til there are children involved and you have wasted many years just to end up were you are now