Army Girlfriend

I am new to this, being a Army girlfriend that is.  It has been pretty difficult for me.  I find myself being mad at him one minute and then talking about us getting married.  He has been gone for two weeks and I don't know how to give him his time to do what he needs to do.  I love this man so much and I don't want to stress him out more that he already is.  He says it is okay but I know it's not. Please ladies help me through this rough time in my life without the love of my life.

boonabear06 boonabear06
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 1, 2010

Its really really hard. I dont even have the word to express, however, we cannot become like "emotional freak out" clones. Everyday is still a day in our own lives. I am trying everyday to live MY life for ME so that I can better compliment the relationship. Its so important to have support. Thank you! Thank you soo much for responding. Please keep in touch:)

Thank you so much lavray, I really appreciate ur words of wisdom. After reading some of these stories, I realized how emotional I was getting and the affect it has on him. I am learning day by day and I am sooo glad I found this site to help me. Thank you again and I will keep u and urs in my prayers.

boonabear- I feel your pain girl...everyday is going to be an experience. However, there is hope. The best gift we can give each other across the distance is positive thinking. Focusing on the day to day normal things in your conversations with one another is important. Instead of repeating how much you miss and love each other make jokes about more mundane topics. Leave the more emotional topics for emails or letters. I know this may sound impersonal but it will allow you to enjoy your time speaking with one another more. The fact of the matter is you both know you love and miss each other already. (don’t make it a terrible sad conversation) Focusing on the negative parts of your relationship while you are talking is going to create a pattern of negative thinking every time you interact. I try to talk about funny parts in movies or show we have both recently seen. Asking each other about friends and relatives and just talking about family can be fun and positive. Getting caught up in a countdown can also add stress and anxiety. REMEMBER: Stay focused on yourself if you take care of yourself you will be able to more easily support your bf through his time away.<br />
I pray that you as well as all of the relationships spread across the distance can find peace. A wife pulled me aside in one of the army parties I recently attended. She was well aware that I was a gf and also new to the "army" scene. I have only been with my bf since june 09. She explained to me that the worst thing a woman can do to her man while he is away and I quote "to start boo hooing" on the phone. Her name is Cassandra and I swear whenever I begin to well up I think of her strength. She has been an Army wife for over 15 years. The way she spoke to me with such authority and intelligence was inspiring. When my bf and I were sitting in the deployment ceremony in the gym many people were crying. It was very difficult for both of us, but I DID NOT cry. I think that by smiling laughing and joking about how tough we were allowed him to leave happy. ( or as happy as someone on the way to Iraq can be) My bf says " this is my life and this is my career" basically he is just saying you can’t complain about something you choose. As for us Army gf's we can’t complain if we agree to the circumstances. Every day that passes that I don’t become emotionally swept into tears is a victory for both of us. It allows me to be truly supportive. If we can find the strength within ourselves and fortify mentally then we can remain emotionally positive. That is the best gift we can give our bf's. The gift of knowing that we are safe, happy, and healthy and emotionally stable is the best support. When I feel the overwhelming sadness pulling at my heart I evoke the spirit of Cassandra and tell myself no boo hooing!