I Need Uplifting Girls..

So Kevin has been deployed for almost 3 months now. It is our first deployment and boy has it been rough. When he first left I went through this stage where I kept to myself and didn't really talk with the girls at school much or anyone else for that matter. I didn't want to be around them and hear all about them and their boyfriends and their love stories from the weekend before. I've just recently got out of that stage and I am learning how to cope with it all and I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal. Well, I realized my friends are gone... Even the girl who has been my best friend since 2nd grade. She told me that she feels like I am a burden and I only talk to her when I need someone to cry to. I literally feel like ALL my friends are gone. I know it's partly my fault for acting the way I did but I couldn't really help it, I didn't know how to act or deal with all the emotions when he left because I was new to it all. Maybe in time things will work out and we will all get closer again but right now I feel like I have no one. I can't even talk to Kevin about it and it breaks my heart. I don't know what I would do without you girls on here.

armylove2 armylove2
18-21, F
8 Responses Mar 8, 2010

that really bites.. they obviously werent true friends if they cant stand by you and be the shoulder for you to cry on.. i know since my bf left for basic, my best friend has been there for me thru thick and thin, the moments when i want to seclude i know that if i jus talk to herabout my feelings everything is okay, im always here if you need someone to talk to, i get sad alot about it, but you have to think of the positives of when he is back. its a rough struggle, and hard to cope with on your own but if youve made it this far just be strong.

thanks so much yall. It helps a lot to know I have yall to talk to and you actually know how I feel. Thanks for all the encouraging words. I'm here for all of you too, I know it's an emotional rollercoaster for us all so message me anytime.

I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I don't know what I would do without the support of my friends. i hate to be the person that says this, but I have to say that it doesn't sound like those girls were very good friends in the first place. A good friend doesn't abandon you in your greatest time of need, and they surely don't make you feel bad for "burdening them" with what you're going through. A real friend would know that they could never understand what you are going through, and would recognize that there are going to be a tons of ups and downs for you. I know on top of everything else you're dealing with, the last thing you might want to do is try to build new relationships, but it might be in your best interest to find more compassionate friends. If you are insistant upon rebuilding relationships with some of the girls, then I'd suggest sitting them down one at a time and explaining that while you know they can never truely understand, that you need them to try to, and that this issue isn't about them, it's about you. Remind them that is roles were reversed, that you would be there for them, and all that you ask is that they try to keep life as normal as possible for you. Marilyn Monroe said something about men that I think is equally as true for any relationship - "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"

i'm sure everything is going to be okay! I always tell my boyfriend that the hardest part is that I have no one here who can relate to me, where as everyone around him is going through the same thing. Just knowing that someone is feeling the same as you makes a huge difference. Your friends will come back, don't worry. Just let them know how hard it is and you're working on trying to make things better. The time will go by fast and before you know it, he will be back :)

You can talk to me anytime. :) I'm going through the same thing. I went through that phase, and lost all of my friends. And its my senior year, so it pretty much sucks.

aww im sorry! your true friends will eventually understand and will be there for you. <br />
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im also new to the deployment thing (he's been deployed several times, but this is my first with him)...he has only been gone a month and it gets harder everyday. Its gonna be a long yr for me! <br />
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I love coming on here and reading all the girls' stories. They are so encouraging and uplifting. A lot of my real life friends just dont understand what we go through.

Mine is just in basics girl and im that way. they just don't understand what it's really like! i so wish they would just be patient with the whole thing =( you cant make yourself be happy when everything inside of you is hurting. but it'll all work out im sure!

You can talk to me anytime! I'm right there with ya, so gosh darn frustrating! :) AHHHH. Mine's been deployed 6 months and some days you feel like you bl<x>inked and the time has flown and other days it feels like it's dragging....the best you can do is be the best you can be right now and be positive! :) You can do it!