Ugh. It's A Little Early For The Army To Mess With The Rest Of My Life

So, it's bad enough that my sweetheart is in the Army now. It sucks, but I've accepted it. I understand that basic is just the tip of the iceburg and that I'll have to suffer through the worries and woes of his getting stationed elsewhere and eventual deployment (he's infantry, so I'm not even going to pretend it won't happen.) I've accepted that I'll get calls at weird times and mail will be erratic, etc. FINE. I don't like it, but I can live with it.

But yesterday I found out that my sweetie hasn't even gone down range yet due to some "personell issue." They've pushed their date for going down back to next week, which means that now he graduates the same weekend as the biggest event that my department puts on all year - something I am paid and expected to be be working at. So now I may not be able to go to his graduation. His mom, who gave me the news (I missed his call! ): ) asked why I couldn't just not work the event and I had a hard time explaining to her that while Ryan's graduation is important to me, it is part of my job to work at this event, and it's something I signed on and committed to long before Ryan joined the military. The government may not be paying me to do this, but it's still something I have an obligation and responsibility to.

And while I know that there is nothing I can do about all of this, it still makes me mad. I'm expected to drop everything to fit the Army's schedule, and if it were anything else I would, but I can't drop my commitment. And I feel bad, because as much as it might suck for me not to be there, Ryan will be the one who suffers for not having me there on his special day. i'm just hoping that he understands when I am finally able to write and tell him in a few weeks.

Does anyone have any insight/experience with the army girlfriend duties / life balance?

MissKikiM MissKikiM
22-25, F
9 Responses Mar 15, 2010

sorry, I see that I could have been more clear. I'm just saying that blaming the Army is no more constructive than blaming your job. I certainly understand you being frustrated, I was just trying to say that blame won't do you much good, just learn to deal with the many times when their actions are frustrating to you. <br />
"Personnel issues" could mean that training personnel were/will be snatched up to go to Afghanistan or any number of scenarios like that, so don't write it off as poor planning or lack of organization. Just try to keep that kind of thing in mind.

I don't hate your comment, Lillith. I respect your point of view, and while I don't agree with it, I know that you are coming from a place where you've "been there, done that" and think I should probably just get over it. However, I must say that in this particular situation, my irritation with the Army is warranted. Though I'm not out defending my country, my job is indeed important, and a primary element of my contractual employment agreement is that I work up to and at this event. Not working it is simply not an option. Of course, the Army is not supposed to plan their time table arround my life, but don't you think it's reasonable to feel frustrated when due to poor planning or lack of organization on their part, I am expected to change mine?

You are going to hate my comment, but why be angry at the Army? Why not be angry that your job isn't flexible enough to let you go? Your job is, of course, important, but if they can't bend for something you deem this important, how nice are they?<br />
Joining the Army is more than just a job, it's a commitment. He took an oath to protect our nation. <br />
If you are in a committed relationship with someone in the military, you will forever be inconvenienced by the larger picture. You simply have to learn to go with the flow. <br />
Oh, my husband is a retired MSG in the Army, so I've been there.<br />
Good luck to you!

you should go the faces on them when they see the ones they love most is crazy. its soo important to them to have there gf, fiances, wives go. you should go. if your company does it every yr then do it next yr hes only going to graduate bct once.

Shannylee08, he's at Ft. Benning. Thanks ladies, I'm sure he'll understand, its just really frustrating. Hopefully I'll figure something out!

I can relate to this. I didn't go to my husbands graduation from basic/ait back in December because his graduation date was dec. 17th, the same day I had to take a final to graduate nursing school. On dec. 18th I graduated from the nursing program at my school. His family couldn't make it to his graduation either cuz of money troubles, so he was entirely alone on his graduation day. It made me so upset that I couldn't be there for him but he understood that I couldn't just drop everything for him after working so hard for so long. Thankfully he was there at my graduation, and in the long run it really didn't matter to him that I missed his graduation because we at least got to spend time together which is all he really wanted. I'm sure if you explain yourself to your bf he will understand. But I do agree, the army has the worst timing ever.

I'm sorry to hear that. I have faced making decisions between important Army events and my personal responsibilities. The important thing to remember is that your boyfriend loves you and will understand that have your own life as well. Good luck! I'm here to talk if you need anything.

wow thats crazy my bf is in the same situation he is army calvary scout and he hasnt even started basic yet either due to some army delay.. it puts a damper for sure i totally understand, it sucks that we have to live by what the army says for our schedules with our boyfriends.. is he by any chance at fort knox? jus curious :)

it sucks lol ive been one for bout a year now but am just now dealing with it my bf had one year left of his 8 year contract and hes been reserve for the last 3 years after 2 tours in iraq and one day he got orders to go back to iraq again...even tho he is a disable veteran :(( so now im learning all of this too the most important thing ive learned so far is NEVER get your hopes up or believe anything is official till it happens. Everything has changed from what it was originally supposed to be when he got his first set of orders. You have to be very adaptable now and get used to things constantly changing sometimes for the better but mostly for the worst. Sorry to sound negative but i dont want to sugar coat it...but on the positive side :) you get to be proud you have a brave man fighting for this country :) that is something other people dont get to experience and your relationship will be a lot stronger than 'civillians' lol i like using that word now hehe bc you guys will go through separations that if you make it through will make you stronger than ever before!! And it is all worth it when you get a phone call, letter, or get to go visit him :) one smile and everything seems worth it. Sorry this is so long!! There is also support groups through the army you can join but ive been waiting a month to hear back from them so i just talk mostly on here....well good luck with this life adventure :) oh i also found something on one of my facebook groups ill post after this it made me laugh a lil and it is true :)