Longest And Hardest Days..i Find Strength By Getting Through.

Ive never had a picture perfect life.  But who really has? Disappointments at every turn, and people who have let me down over and over..So i never thought i would have the picture perfect relationship either, i made excuses for my abusive boyfriends and fleeting friends in the past, but i couldnt live how i was.   I moved to Arizona from my home in Ohio to escape all of the people who have damaged me over the years so i could finally at least figure out who i am and what i want in college and at least gain somewhat true friends.  In that time, i gained my wonderful boyfriend Jake, i never even expected to find him, i wasnt even looking for a relationship nor was i interested in ever being with someone in the army...But Jake changed that.   I never had someone care and so genuinely be there for me and love me unconditionally.  The only downpart was knowing that i had a limited time (only two months) with him before he left for basic training for the army..  That last day i couldnt even hold myself together at restaurants, while in the car, at our favorite spots.. its hard to put on a smile for him when he was all excited and bubbly about everything he gets to do and the army..because i knew that in the morning he would be gone, i should of expected it because it was inevitable and it was for him to accomplish one of his dreams.  That day was probubly the hardest day ive ever had emotionally in my 19 years. 

I know that being supportive is now all i really can do.  Its been two weeks since he left for bootcamp and because of a "Delay" he is sitting around in a barracks for 2 weeks waiting to go to boot camp this friday.  Jake calls everyday (when he borrows his friends phones) and already has wrote a letter that he cant wait to send when he cant call anymore..Im happy im so close with his family and i know that if i ever get lonely their just a car ride away and love me just as much as if i was their daughter..Its weird that with the distance you can still feel so much for just one person. I never thought i would ever call myself an army girlfriend, but Jake is my entire world now.  I havent wanted to go out because i know that he wont be out with me, i havent had the drive to even focus on classes even at times.  Jake and i already talked about marriage and how he is ready for it, and im positive now that i am, that as weird it sounds ive found the one person i want to spend the rest of my life in such a short time you really can learn so much about one person regardless of all the distance it all seems to fit in place perfectly for us.  Some people really cant even understand the kind of bond we have with our soldiers, ive read so many of the stories here and their really inspiring.

  There have been some days when i just want to cry. whenever theres girl drama in the dorms, or i have something really exciting to tell him and i cant, i find it really frustrating but i know that i can be patient and i can wait because this is such a small portion of our lives, when you have forever with someone. I know that at the end, when i see his face smiling and his arms outstretched for my hug its all going to be worth it.  It bites that some of my friends cannot understand that and choose not to be my friend because i wont go out with all their guy friends and them and hit up the clubs and do stupid things that wouldnt even make me happy right now, i just feel like if hes not doing it, why should i be?  I find comfort in coming on here on those days when i know that im struggling and hes struggling just as much.  So thats pretty much jake and I's story in a nutshell. :)

shannylee08 shannylee08
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 15, 2010

thanks guys i really appreciate your support and comments and thanks for reading.. im really hoping that things get better or i at least find some sort of distraction.. to top it all off girl drama in the dorms.. i wish us girls could all really get along. Its good to know that there is someone waiting for you and who loves you. Im wishing you all luck as well and look forward to reading your stories!

WOW! I cannot believe the similarities between your story and mine! Like seriously! Its like de ja vu reading all of that! But I feel ya girl! Even being 19 I feel so ready and in love! Its amazing what you will learn about yourself as the days pass by! The time will speed up and slow down and be like a giant roller coaster, but you will geth through! Ricky, my love has been out for 6 weeks now and I remember getting on this site for the first time 2 weeks after he left! But you will gain your focus and be able to carry onward! LOVE it!

aww your story is cute! i understand what your going through because not many people just stay ound me understand why i started dating my boyfriend when i knew he was leaving and anytime i say something about missing him they are just like well you knew what you were getting into, which really hurts cause yes i did but that deosn't mean you dont love them any less and dont miss them. just stay strong and remember that even though wont always be able to talk to you, you still mean the world to him! also something my boyfriend and i do is that we write stuff down that we would normally tell each other, and we are saving the whole notebook so that we he comes home on his leave we will have plenty of stories to tell each other!

ADORABLE!! :) i've felt similiarily to you. I haven't had interest in going out too much. Plus I'm graduated from college and away from all my friends now. I wish he was next to me experiencing my day too. You still have to try to be independent and not put your life on hold while he's gone. You have all us girls if u need to talk!

Aw - how cute. It is true...no one can understand the relationship between an girl and her soldier. I definitely know what you mean about not wanting to go out cause the whole time you think "this would be so much more fun with him." and you reach for his hand that isn't there. What makes the distance easier for me is just thinking about how proud he is making me and the rest of the country. Everyone appreciates your boyfriend for dedicating his life to protecting this country, and you are lucky enough to be the center of his world. Stay strong! And if you need anyone to ask questions or just talk to - just send me a message! Good luck!