Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...

So my boyfriend of 3 months just told me today that he will not be coming home anytime soon and I had the understanding that he would be home in June. That is what he told me and he was almost 100% sure of that. And now, leave it up to the Army, it has completely changed. I am totally losing it. I don't think I could ever break up with him because he is by far the best guy for me but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I know it has only been 3 months but I can't imagine any longer putting up this. We already have no communication. This is the first time I have talked to him since i dunno when and he isnt even deployed yet. I don't know what to do...

Olivia113 Olivia113
18-21, F
13 Responses Apr 5, 2010

Thank you that means so much to me that I have your support. Same goes for you, I am always free to talk=) Thanks for the advice too that has really helped and I'm sure we are just going through a rough patch. I can't bare to be without him. Ill keep you in my prayers=)

Oh girly, if he is worth it, you will find a way to make it work. Trust me, I was going through the same thing when I first started dating my guy. He told me strait up how long he could (<-- key word here) be gone. Things have changed since then, now he is going to be re-stationed and deployed again rather than just re-stationed. And I had no idea if I could do it or not. However we are going through a field problem right now and it is hard and I am sure it will be worse once he is deployed but I just keep thinking of the happy things and I am counting down the days and somehow make it seem shorter than the time he is actually away. But I didn't think I could do it. Almost half a year later I love him so much more and know we can make it through. <br />
Feel free to IM or email anytime. We are all here for you.

Hey girl I know exactly what you mean. It's so hard to go for a long period of time alone when all you do is crave for that person. My boyfriend has been gone for almost 3 months and won't be home until about November. But I look forward to hearing from him all the time. & I know if I wasn't with him that it would be more difficult to go on with life. I'd rather be with him and states apart then not together at all. Just stay strong. I know you are!!

Yeah I have a hard time accepting that I never really know when he will be coming home, what he is up to and when he can talk to me next, I like to be in control. haha. But now, I'm totally helpless.

you never know what may happen with the just kinda got to roll with the punches..take then as they come. it will be ok just hang in there.

Thanks so much that is really helpful. I know deep down that he really is thinking about me and missing him as much I miss him but I tend to forget that a lot because I think he is so busy that he doesn't really have time to miss me. It is really difficult getting used to this Army style way of living but I know it will be worth it. I can't even imagine myself with anyone else and I know that I have to stay with Tony for that reason alone. <br />
Feel free to message me anytime as well=)

These relationships are some of the hardest relationships, I can only imagine just starting out, and having to go right into the military lifestyle. It's a lot of hard work, but it is really worth it in the long run. You can do this. It's not going to be easy, but it definitely gets better. Things aren't as hard as you go on. Stay strong! I've felt so weak going through this process, even now, I sometimes feel as though I'm being the biggest baby. Just think about how great it will be when you finally get to see him, how amazing it will be to see and touch and kiss him! It makes the time go by quicker. Also, talking to other girls that have gone through all this makes it better. Stick by him, even though he can't talk much, it doesn't mean he doesn't care! He's thinking about and missing you, as much as you think about and miss him! Feel free to message me if you need to talk! (:

Thanks girls for all your advice=) I definitely have a lot of thinking to do. But with it will be a little bit easier now. I really think in the end I will decide to stay with him because like Allie said, it is not going to make me miss him less if we break up. And I love him to death, I will probably just have to learn to stick it out, as hard as it may be.

I have the EXACT same issue. I'm sorry to say my story doesn't end well. This doesn't mean yours will end badly, though. Stay hopeful, there's no reason not to. My boyfriend was deployed to Iraq. Before he left, he said he would come home for leave. Before we were together, he never took leave when he was deployed. Before he left he said he had something to come back for this time (me). But, not long after he left, he said he wouldn't be taking leave at all.<br />
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That wasn't the end of it either. Before he left, he was talking about all the other careers he could do because he didn't want to have children in the military. Now, he's in until retirement.

Hey girl!! all i can say is, breaking up isn't going to make u miss him any less..if that's the reason for your unhappiness. It's hard to go through, but i have faith if you love him enough, you'll be fine. You're young yet, so if you dont want to spend your time waiting around, I understand. Do some major thinking and listen to your heart as well, and in the meantime keep yourself busy! :0)

the thing about the military life is you never know whats going to happen they told my boyfriend he was coming home on the 4th of april then the changed it to the 15th now its the 20th it really sucks believe me i cried and i was so mad but i had to just wipe my tears and remember to just stay strong for the both of us! i know its hard being away from the one you love and we are totally far from be a normal couple and it sucks but because we love our guys we deal with it. dont worry love june is only two months away and i know you can get through this just keep faith and think about how awesome its going to be when you get to be with him again i'm here for you if you ever need anything!<br />
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Yeah that's my problem I am so impatient. haha. But thank you I will get right on praying=)

Hi. The only thing i can say is do what your heart tells u. military life is not easy. You will never know what's gonna happen tomorrow and the next day and the next day. If u love him you have to learn to be patience. It sucks, I know but somehow I know I got no choice but to deal with the situation. Pray for it Hun. One day you'll wake up with an answer.