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It was years ago, years, almost to the point that I can't remember.  My fascination was always overwhelming, a bit too much, over the top, they'd say.  I had barely seen many vampire movies or even had the idea of researching.   I was young. 

I was told then, at that young age, that there is something about me.  Something, she said, that she can not yet tell me about, yet that when I awaken to it, she would be there for me.  She felt it, even in a youngster, such as me, walking around in overalls and staring into her eyes.  She saw it there, in my eyes, felt it from the energy I gave.  I didn't think about it for years after she left...until...I woke up.

No, I don't dress in all black, nor am I pale white and running around chasing anyone just to feed from their blood energy.  That, my friends, is the movies.  This...is real. 

She came back, a few weeks after I awoke, she said she knew it was time.  She and I hadn't spoke in years.  Then, as if my soul was crying out to her for help, she appeared again in my life.  Sitting there on the big rock near the edge of the woods where "we" always hung out.  She had friends with her this time.  I had never seen them, but they welcomed me.  Comforted me.  Taught me.  Helped me.  Assured me.  They would always be there until I no longer needed them.

The sun does not kill me, but it's uncomfortable.  I love garlic.  I can wear a cross, although it took me years to be able to endure the pain I felt when placing it around my neck.  I can hear what others cannot.  I can see what others cannot.  I can feel what others aren't even aware of.  Sometimes it gets to be too much, sometimes it's not enough.  Either way, it is what it is...and I say to you...I am.

I have a hunger different from many.  Yes, I like hot dogs and pizza, especially pizza, and chicken and cheez-its, those satisfy my stomach, my taste buds, my ability to survive.  Yet, there's another hunger, deeper inside, that drives my mind and soul mad...for energy.  Blood, life-energy, whatever I can draw from you that cannot be eaten, digested, shat out.  It's a craving unlike that of a drug, while it's still quite intense, it will not kill me.  It will only leave me tired, lazy, craving without the energy to help myself. 

I feed through touch.  Sometimes simple, often sexual.  While you're being pleasured, I'm taking more than just your sweet juices.  While I'm looking into your eyes, I'm taking more than your attention.  When I hold you, I'm taking more than you submission. 

Do I live in a mansion dimly lit with sconces lined throughout?  I wish the hell I did, that would be so erotically eccentric to live in a place like that.  Yet, alas, I live in a little house like you'd see on some old t.v show, with a yard, a mail box, a wind sock blowing around the front porch just above the tacky welcome mat.  Do I have fangs?  No.  I bite, but I don't have fangs.  I draw blood with a small razor attached to a pinkie ring, made for such bloodletting tasks.  I am human.  I am alive.  Dead blood does not flow through these veins.  Darkness does not invade my heart or mind, only dark memories of times when...

 

vampireheart vampireheart 31-35, T 13 Responses Sep 2, 2008

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any of you know any sanguinarians???<br />
trying to make sure i am not the only real sanguinarian on this website.....oh and angel...about the teenagers being stupid...i agree......they always say in their comments that they are human...and yet at the same time they say they drink blood...humans are easily corrupted by stupidity....of this i have no doubt.........so again i have to agree with you angel...

lol, I don't rely on sexual energies alone. Some of the best energies I've fed from is from my girl....the conversations...the non-sexual intimacy....it's amazing. And I never feed without consent....it's just wrong...ya know? Some would not care....some would disagree....claiming that the energy just isn't as good...<br />
I'm not sayin I've never done it....at first...before I was taught....

i was fifteen when i awoke, no one was there for me and i was so scared, in human life i would be 16 by now yet i have taken so many sexual energies that some would call me a prostitute.

I'm sure you could "adopt" the vampire lifestyle, but you may or not feel truly as if you are one...you could find someone to adopt you into it, sire you...so to speak.<br />
I, however, awakened to it. It was just a part of me from a very young age that became harder to deny as I was growing up...finally, I just gave in and opened my mind and life up to it, and awakened into it more fully. The books...they are fun to read, some of them provide a glimpse into the reality, but you can never fully know until you are in it, living and breathing in the life.

wow.<br />
I hate to say, but I'm one of those obsessed teenagers... but you sound so much more real than the dumb books I've read. So, do you just.. become a vampire? You don't have control over whether it happens or not?

sure thing, although I will say, there are many more knowledgeable than I...

thanks! :)

I haven't done research on it in quite a while, just mostly at the height of my awakening, which was at about fifteen...I've heard that is a common age for a lot of people, but everyone is different.

ok ive hard many different responses to this question and im curious:at what age would you say your awakening was and what is the earliest age of an awakening and the oldest age of an awakening you ever heard a vampire experience.

yah, gotta love teenagers...otherwise we wouldnt' have half the crazy issues we have in this world. What kind of questions? by the way...sorry for the late response...I haven't had access to a computer for a while and I've been busy and sick all at the same time.

So you're really a vampire? Nice to hear, all I've found so far are a bunch of stupid teenagers that say they love blood and bla bla bla. I've got some questions I wanted to ask you kind.

damn, I feel like I could have said that exact same thing, I say holy **** all the time. For real? You're a psych too? that's awesome

Holy ****. Nice to meet you, fellow psych!!! :D