I Cant Help But Still Feel Horrible... Help?

I used to eat a little meat here and there growing up.  Maybe a lot at times. It never bothered me much.  I saw my father kill and slaughter a pig once when I was younger. I bawled my eyes out and didnt eat pig for many years.  I got into college and watched the most horrifying documentaries on factory farms and animal cruelty.  I left class a few times crying because I felt so horrible that I used to eat meat.  I have only been a vegetarian for a little over a year now and I honestly wish I had always been one.  Part of me feels like I am a hypocrite because I used to eat me.  I joined a few activist groups and protested animal rights on my college campus.  I try to inform my family of the truth about meat but I dont want to not support for them eating it.  It bothers me a little so I urge them to not eat meat meals with me.  How do I find it within myself to be okay with the fact I used to eat meat??
lookonthebrightside lookonthebrightside
22-25, F
4 Responses May 20, 2012

Wow I read your story and I can feel pain, but you should just be a little courageous. I myself became a vegetarian because I respect life of other creatures, animals. you can read more about my story in my blog http://www.vegetarianstories.com you may want to subscribe to my posts, you'll find useful articles talking about my moroccan adventure and ofcourse others' stories, recipes that will help you to get out of this dilemme.<br />
Cheers

Thank you all. That was very nice and uplifting. Its a work in progress and I appreciate all of your thoughts :)

Take it easy on yourself. I know, easier said than done, but the suffering that makes you feel guilty is NOT your fault. A lot of vegetarians grew up eating meat, being told they had to, that they wouldn't be healthy or grow into a proper adult without it -- all the usual BS. I'm 42, and as recently as 28, I was not only still eating meat but defending it. My wife helped me edge toward a more vegetarian lifestyle. I still occasionally eat fish, but I'm really trying my hardest to give that up too (I've cut my tuna consumption down to just once every other month.) But vegetarians have been where you used to be. So don't feel guilty about it. Be proud of the groups you support that look after animals and continue with your vegetarian diet/lifestyle. You're doing your bit. You can't change the past, so please stop punishing yourself for it. You don't deserve it.

Just thought I'd add: Don't concentrate on the negatives, but accentuate the positives. Instead of, "I used to contribute to the problem (when I had no choice)," think "For years now, I have not contributed to the problem, and I won't ever contribute to the problem." See? You have every reason to love yourself, so start doing just that. At the end of the day, you're an animal too -- so don't cause suffering to yourself when you know you're doing all you can.

Accept the fact that it happened and you can't change that. We all have done things in our lives and have learned form them. You are now in a more positive, possibly healthier and more spiritual phase of life. You should not feel guilty.