Am I Making the Right Decisions?

Wow this is too weird.... I have some eczema too.... hah, maybe it means we're just anxious people, or maybe it means that because we're itchy all the time we constantly have trouble maintaining focus?? The second is a little far fetched, but I am sure it means we are all pretty anxious people. I joined this entire website because I am having a tough time staying as optimistic as I have been my entire life due to my most recent breakup.  I never thought I would find myself in such a heart breaking situation.  I put so much of myself into this girl who I thought loved me just as much, or even more, and she turned out to be as fake as can be.  She joined a sorority at her school (both of our schools are within two hours which is why we were able to maintain a semi-long distance relationship for a year) and became a product of her environment.  She became two faced and always acted differently around her new, fake, sorority sisters.  Then right when we took a break she hooks up with the one guy that I knew was a threat from the beginning.  She knew I was going to be devastated, but because he was trying hard, she gave in because of the proximity.  I was devastated to say the least because her whole issue since the day I knew her was trust.  What a hypocrite.  I then found out she was getting serious with this guy.  I couldn't take it, her whole reason for wanting a break was to have independence and to find herself so we might get back together later on or at least remain friends later on.  In one swift move she contradicted all three of those reasons, so I am now left confused and wondering if the last year of this intense relationship was just a fluke.

Anyway, I am now confused with so many different aspects of my life.  I don't know what I want, I don't want to grow up to fast, but I don't want to act young forever. I guess you could say I am having an identity crisis too.  I dont know what I want when it comes to women.     I also don't know what I want when it comes to work.  I am currently working on a big project, but the people who surround me in the company we have created aren't the type of people I can have fun with.  They're innocent, they barely party, and they do not have wild experiences.  They are sacrificing fun for this opportunity that we have in front of us.  I feel torn.  I want to live the college lifestyle and have fun because laughter and fond memories are incredibly important to me. It feels like ages since I had a legitimately wild night with new friends.  Now I want both, I want to party hard, work hard, be in great physical shape, and I want to know for a fact that my life is going where I want it to go.  However, there just doesn't seem like there is enough time to do all of this, and in order to truly create something beautiful you need to put the time and effort, which means sacrifice.  I am so confused.  I need some insight because even though I know the payoff will be worth it in the end, I do not want to have to sacrifice the drunk, funny, sexy blur that college is.  Some help please

LedZeppelin LedZeppelin
Mar 24, 2009