Post

A Difficult Place

It is after midnight and I can't sleep. Once again I have gotten no recognition, no acknowledgement of my value, from the one I married. My husband has told me that he has no interest in anything I do. There is no emotional connection, no physical connection anymore. I am continually devalued. I consider myself a strong person, and I hold my own in general, but I am teetering on depression tonight. I have two children, my financial situation is precarious, and I am unable to leave right now. I do get wonderful support from friends, which almost makes my situation at home harder to take. I don't mean to whine, but I do feel better venting a bit. I must sort out what I should do- I cannot remain miserable. I deserve more.
kwanyin kwanyin 46-50, F 6 Responses Jul 17, 2010

Your Response

Cancel

I do exactly know what you feel and experience, as my spouse is more or less responding in the same way as yours'!
It is tiring to sit awake for hours on end during the night, with only your thoughts to accompany your wondering mind. To try and figure out the right solutions, to try and determine what action, if any, you should take, with limited financial resources, and the possible result of failure!!
Only believe in yourself, and follow your instincts!! Do not depend on outsiders, family, friends or consultants- they have not been there and cannot give advice!!

I truly understand your pain. I've been married for over 25 years. I wanted out after only a few years but with sick kids, no work or money and no family for support I stayed. I always said "when the kids are grown". Well, that has happened and now I have no work history, no money and am looking at being with the "beast" full time when he retires. We've gone to counseling, we've both had affairs. Frankly, the affairs are the only thing that have kept me from giving up on life altogether. That and my children and grandchildren. I hope you find a way out, sooner rather than later. Find happiness!

i wish i were u..u are strong and full of confidence (..i cannot remain miserable.i deserve more)....do whats best for u..

Things have changed radically for me. I am divorced and living in an apartment with my son. I also am in a wonderful relationship with a loving adoring man. It has been a difficult path, but I am so very happy. If you are miserable PLEASE find your inner strength and change your situation- you won't regret it.

Oh yes, I can feel your pain. I ask myself, why am I here in this relationship where there is no support for one another? I have withdrawn and have no interest in trying to connect anymore. I am so tired of trying and not getting anything in return. We don't talk to each other as a couple, I am so lonely and so wishing for someone to be close to. This is my second long term relationship and its my pride and laziness that keep me from leaving.....when I think back, I cannot really remember any great times that we have shared, I just remember the fights and feeling so rejected. <br />
To everyone in this situation, thanks for sharing, it makes me feel not quite alone.

So many of us woman in the same situation...<br />
Married, but so unhappy, sad and as though a part of our soul dyes everyday.<br />
I ask myself, what kind of role model am I being to my daughters?<br />
I crave being in love...Being so deeply and passionately in love that you can hardly breathe when they are near you...and the thought of them not with you makes you want to die. <br />
I know it exists...I know it does.<br />
My own mother has told me over and over that it doesn't and that I should be grateful to have such a kind man that provides us with everything we need and such a beautiful home etc...<br />
I know I should be. He is a good man. He is my friend and I do love him as that, but I am not in love with him, no matter how hard I try.<br />
I have begged him for affection, but he does not get it.<br />
Now it would be too late anyways.<br />
I am just turning cold.<br />
But I am terrified to leave.<br />
Where would live, how would I live, feed our children?<br />
I have stayed home for 8 yrs and sold my flower shop and put my design career on hold to put this family first. One of our daughters is actually my step daughter. I want her. <br />
How could I do this to him?<br />
How can I stay and be so sad and so untrue to myself...<br />
There is no one else...<br />
But I want there to be...I so desperately want there to be...<br />
This guilt is overwhelming...

I feel the same exact way Im in the same situation