I Am A Very Lonely Wife

Another lonely weekend, just writing stories on EP or watching television. How did things ever end up this way. My marriage is more like we are room mates, because we don't have a lot of communication and when we do I have practically beg him to talk to me. Sometimes I feel as if he main priorities are more important. In the last three weekends now that is exactly what has happened. First it was a fishing trip with guys is works for. Then last weekend his golf game. And now this weekend a car show. I feel so lonely sometimes and just wishing he would spend some quality time with me, but then when he comes home he gets right on our home computer and plays his card games. I feel neglected most of the time.

 Last night we were suppose to go out to celebrate his birthday (which was last weekend), but I had some of my laundry to do. And by the time I finished he announces to me that I guess we aren't going to see a movie and have dinner out, because if we aren't sitting down in the restaurant by 6 o;clock then he doesn't want to go. He tells me he just doesn't want to eat late and then go to bed on a full stomach. So another weekend canceled. I felt disappointed and let down again. Instead we order japaness food. I still feel angry with him today, because it seems to me like it has to be always on his terms of when we go out and have a nice dinner. I wish sometimes I could just get all of my feelings out to him, but I am so afraid that I won't be heard.
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4 Responses Jul 19, 2010

I am so sorry for what you are going through :/<br />
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Hi Dear,<br />
I read your story and some where got a feeling that apart from other problem there is also some ego issues between you two.From his activities it seems he enjoys to chill out more with his friends than with you. Try to understand what he likes is interest are, like for eg: Golf , talk on his golf activities even though if you are not interested in that you have to use your listening capabilities. People like to share there thing but they need some one to listen to them, you have to just play the role of listener, showing interest in what he likes and then see the change in him.<br />
If you want him to do what you want, you have to show interest in his hobbies and gradually once he start expressing himself to you, you will get a hold over him.

It seems amazing to me that on the one night you had a chance to go out, you were doing laundry. Having read your other posts, it seems like you have the whole day to do laundry, so why did you do it instead of going out with your husband?<br />
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You need to stop blaming him for things and start being more positive...if you really want to change the relationship you will both have to try to meet each other half way. You know how he feels about going out to eat... and so you knew what you needed to do. Why didn't you do it?<br />
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You definitely need to find something to occupy you - not just laundry and complaining about your husband. What sorts of things do you enjoy? I love family history, and I have found great companionship and community with other people who are doing that online. There must be dozens of things you could do with a laptop and a lot of free time.

Maybe you should surprise him, figure out some way to show him the woman he originally fell for. I'd say think back to before complacency kicked in, what did you guys do together that was fun, exciting, or romantic? As a guy its easy to fall into routine, and as a woman you have a certain freedom to do something crazy and out of the blue that will get our attention. Get him turned on, as a guy its great to be blindsided with sex every once in awhile, it gets our attention. Just do SOMETHING to stir up the pot. Sounds like the guy needs to be prodded a bit and reminded how great it is to have someone around who loves you. Good luck.