A Lonely Wife

I feel so lonely and depressed. I have been married for 7 years, i have never really been happy in my relationship with my husband. First of all we only knew one another for a month before we got married. I don't really know why i married him, i guess just to get away from my problems. My husband is on disability. we have two kids and one on the way. All my husband does all day is play video games. we never spend time with one another, we haven't had sex in almost two months. he cares more about his video game then his family. i do everything, i spend time with the kids, help them with homework and cook, clean while he lays on his butt all day. He isn't that disabled because he works on cars and can do various odd jobs. he is just lazy.  We don't even sleep together. we haven't slept together for almost two years. i am to the point where i don't care anymore. i have never had a emotional or physical connection to him. i have distanced myself from him. He doesn't see anything wrong with our marriage. I want out of our marriage, however i don't want the kids to be away from there father. Also i live four hours away from my family and i asked him if we could move to my hometown and he says when his mom dies we can think about moving. I see that as so unfair. i need help on what i should do in this situation. does anyone think there is hope in saving this marriage?
aubrie aubrie
7 Responses Dec 15, 2010

It's time to end it while you're still young, but it will be a great financial burden if he doesn't share financially. You shouldn't move out unless you can support yourself and your children. If your family lives in a larger city and if there are jobs available, I'd say move in with relatives until you get back on your feet. Join single church groups. There are many older single/divorced men out there who would love to marry into a family.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. :( If what you have mentioned about your husband NOT being THAT disabled, then he should be doing something. Plus you have mentioned that he loves his video games too much, idk how to save the marriage. But maybe therapy?<br />
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Nothing weird but I am 19 male. My name is Aakash Trivedi. I am from California. I am sure you are a sweet, intelligent, and beautiful woman and I would love to maybe give you my number? We can just talk and chat about anything. Any problems that you want to rant/vent about, tell me! If you ever feel bored or lonely? Again, nothing weird haha. 1 408 772 8919. Text or call maybe? Just tell me who you are haha

Hi my name is Daniel, I have been married for I think 15yrs, I dated my wife when she was 16, the love of my life, we went our separate ways, not my choice, I got married and five years into my marriege she called, i divorsed my wife and married the girl of my dreams, now I am misserable, she says she loves me but we have no sexual relationship, I have not have sex wife her in months, when you consider I can have sex every day, thats a lot, we have two beautiful girls, and that is the only thing that keeps me going and the fact that I am 51yrs old and simply do not care to start all over again, plus I believe that if you have kids they take priority over everything else, if you are financially secure, and he does not want to bother, make an agreement, and find someone that makes you feel wanted, I know that sleeping in the same bed of someone who wont touch me, kills me. I have no true answer except I know in my part if I could I would probably try to find someone who would make me feel good as a man, I wish you the best. Daniel

Sorry to hear about your situation.<br />
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I am 50 and have been married for 11 years now. I left my country to marry this man whom I had cyberdated for a year and met in person only a few times. <br />
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What a mistake it was! I was NEVER happy in this marriage, but I tried ....... fast forward to this day, I am lonesome, alone in my bedroom, he's been sleeping in HIS bedroom for 5 years now.........we have no small children. <br />
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I dont' dare leaving him for fear of the future..... I feel that a husband is better than no husband.<br />
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Please do find something to make you happy, such as joining activity groups yourself, learning something for yourself, and so on............don't stop moving on with YOUR own personal development and growth because of a bad marriage.........there are other things in your power that can make YOUR own life brighter and richer, and it is a good example of resilience to teach your children......<br />
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God bless you

I to have almost that exact similar situation, except. my so called husband cheated on me so I have trust issues along with everything else you have. It feels like you have a roommate not a husband, best friend, or lover... I have been struggling with what to do myself.......

Dont stick around for the kids they know somthing is going on it does not help them out to stay unhappy

i too married someone after just a few weeks...we haven't been together but a year, but I understand being ignored and lonely. I live in kuwait away from everyone i ever knew. ( we live here for is job) I hate that he comes home from work and wants to do nothing but play video games or look at cyclying stuff online. he even found a group of riders so he leaves me at home on the weekends and goes with them for hours. I can't even get him to walk the dog around the block with me- cause he is too tired. <br />
Maybe it isn't just him that is shutting me out cause I know that I now go into my computer world when he gets home so I don't have to feel alone anymore. there is always someone to talk to online....<br />
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anyway, i know you have a different situation and if it is really as bad as that and if you, like me think of being with someone who can love you and give you the attention you need, I say GO....go find it. It can't get any worse right? its not like he is bringing home the paycheck anymore and so there isn't security in that way, he doesnt want to give you the attention you need, and then the kids on top of it....<br />
I dont want anyone to leave a relationship that is good for them, but it doesnt sound like it is doing you or your kids any good staying there....just my opinion...and yes i think about leaving my husband everyday, i dream of my ex's cause its the only time i feel loved. if i were in the US and had a way to leave I am positive i would already be gone. i think i am hanging on now cause i have nothing else to do...<br />
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Don't be like me.....