It Takes A Toll Sometimes.

I guess this is somewhat true about myself. I wouldn't say I'm a nervous person all the time, but I get very easily nervous about things though. Such as change, when trying to talk to new people, or if I don't know what's going on. This all actually started not too long ago. I don't know the cause, nor have I looked into it all that much. But I find myself being nervous about the most stupid of things. Like, if I have a practice of some sort at a different location that I have never been too, I get nervous. I psych myself out pretty much. The things running through my head are "Is this the right place?" "Where is it?" "Am I going to be late?" It's almost as if I doubt myself. In turn, I get these terrible stomach aches and headaches. It's actually very embarrassing. I shouldn't be getting nervous about silly things. I get nervous when I go on vacation too. Even if I have been to the place before, my stomach still knots up in anticipation of the worst. I try to calm myself down. I try reassuring myself and I get other people to reassure me. Yes, this makes me dependent, but in that moment, when my stomach hurts and I'm on the verge of a major headache, I don't really care all that much. Just the other day I went to a college fair, and you know, you have to walk around to the different booths where people talk about the colleges they are presenting. My God, I was having a mini heart attack. I'm not good with talking to people. I mean, yes, people around my age, but with these grown ups all in a crowded room. All I could think was "Damn it, I'm going to sound like a retard." I get through these phases, though. Like I said, I pretty much psych myself out. It's not until after I talk to these people, or after I finally get to that destination, or after I'm actually on vacation that my nervousness subsides. This probably isn't even nerves, as I read back over this. I don't know what it is...but I just say that I'm a Nervous Body. I make myself nervous, and I don't even know why.
HopeInConstruction HopeInConstruction
22-25, F
Mar 2, 2012