I'm a private person. I always have been. I'm not hiding anything, just became a habit. Anytime I was emotional or shown any emotion, my family would run from me. Literally run from me. When I was younger and would cry cause I was sad, my mother and oldest brother would drive away leaving me alone rather than help or ask me what was wrong. I was around 11. Whether my pets died or whether I went through a breakup, they'd leave and I'd cope on my own. When I started clamming up and not mentioning anything or showing any emotion, they then would go through my things, look through my computer, read my diary. They had no boundaries about invading my privacy but wouldn't help me. When I talked to them about it my moms excuse would be "well what are you hiding?" or "your under my roof". To this day, if my mom is in my apartment alone for a short while, she'll ransack the place. If I leave a box of odds and ends at my brothers due to moving or changing apartments, it'd be obvious my things were looked through. Lesson learned. I throw out a lot of things or just don't let my mom in my apartment. My apartment has no style whatsoever and is minimal except for books. It looks like a serial killer lives here lol

As of lately its been driving me crazy living in my current apartment. More often than not I catch my landlord creeping around the building. If I quickly pull open my door and step into the hall I see him with his ear to someones door or simply just standing there listening. I've caught his wife with her ear at my door, have caught him running up the stairs and lurking around outside each time I have a guest over. The only thing down here is the laundry room. He's a creepy dirty pig and doubt he does laundry more than once a week.

Argh, wish people were more understanding.
ChocSwurl ChocSwurl
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 15, 2011

All my life loneliness has been my coveted one to talk to no one to share changes devastates you so thoroughly...i know how comfortable it feels how secure it is... But there are people out there who will listen...who will understand...who will make it all better again

god i have problems like that when i just start trying to do something. Hey, maybe you should fight the bad vibes and just keep your head held up high...u wanted a life of your own and now you have it-Count your blessings.....