Weighed Heavily On Her Mind...Next!

Walking in, somewhat confused, she hugged her goodies as if they were her prized possessions. “You can put that over there Miss”, the uniformed gentleman said who could not have been out of his teens. She carefully set down her large paper sack in the corner, the one her mom had filled to the top, in the hopes it would help her pack on those last few required pounds, pounds that hung in the balance of what she would do with her young life. There were a few snickers as bananas and protein shakes tumbled out of her bag and toppled over onto the shiny linoleum floor, understandably going unnoticed by her.

Instead her focus was on following orders, the first of hopefully many to come, which ironically would allow her to escape ones similar to those she was hoping to avoid by her exodus. “Go over there and wait in line for your turn”, someone bellowed in a gruff voice. Her eyes affixed on the shiny silver doctor’s scale up ahead, she reflected upon her parents’ praise, their pride at how she decided to take this brave and pivotal step, which heightened the urgency and her level of stress. Waiting patiently, after chewing nervously on a few fingernails, adjusting her clothes and shuffling her feet, finally those dreaded words came, the words that would determine her destiny and alter the perception of her world. “Next! Step up on the scale, Miss.”

She looked down with trepidation, watching the Sergeant slowly slide the weighted metal to the right, prolonging the result as if to torture her. This was her last chance to get weighed in. Her tummy bulging with all the liquid whey, plumped full of potassium goodness, here it finally was, 97, 98, 99. That’s it?! Not 100??!!, she thought to herself, shocked and dismayed. A fat masculine finger emerged, creeping over the side as if routine, which pushed her home free, adding that extra pound. “I reckon that’s close enough”, he said, winking with a sneaky grin. “100 pounds, you’re in. Go sign the papers and we’ll get you processed.” And thus began both an amazing journey and a determined distaste for ripened bananas that would last a lifetime.


imathinkin imathinkin
51-55, F
4 Responses Aug 1, 2010

Thank You ALL for serving!
What is this 1 pound under and 3 pounds over stuff ?????? If you were too light they handed you a rifle to live with 24/7. If you were over they smiled like wolves locked in a chicken house. They were going to enjoy taking all that extra meat off of you. That's how I remember it anyway.

3 pounds over? you lost me there

They told me I had to be at least 100 pounds or they coulnd't take me. The sergeant had weighed me once already and I wasn't 100 pounds. My mom heard bananas made one weigh more...lol. The sergeant pushed down on the weight, so that it would weigh enough.

Singer 1960 was 3 pounds over. I understood. During Vietnam if you were a male 30 pounds was not going to make a difference is the point I was trying to make. Jeez it is so frustrating when you have to explain your humor to someone. ;)

How fun to hear your stories. Yes, I do detect a pattern. :)

Bananas, I've heard a cousin or two of mine use that to get weight for it...for me it was the opposite, nothing but salads (and my mom sneaking laxatives into my diet) when I went in. Was still like 2% over body fat, but they let me slide, lol....hmmm, seems like I see a pattern of disobedience ;p<br />
<br />
JerryD<br />
US Navy<br />
Electronic Technician<br />
Vet (2001-2005)

Great story....With me.....It was 3 pound over.....But they knew that I would lose it in Basic.....and also took into account water weight.....For they took a look at my ankles and saw that I was a little bloated....<br />
<br />
Glad that you made it......I just hope that you are still glad that you did<br />
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singer1960<br />
US Army <br />
Military Police<br />