Step Father Ruined My Childhood

People who know my past. Those who witnessed my childhood say I am strong. They say they're proud of me for not falling into my parents footsteps. I'm nobody special. I live in an average house with an average job, with a man whom I love and loves me back.  But hidden with in is a lil girl who is battered and bruised, she can't fogive and will never forget.

My now Ex-Stepfather is a drug addicted drunk.  Has been since the day my mother met him. I don't remember much as a child. I remember the screaming, the leather belt. The fist fights he had with my mother. The blood on the floor afterward. If he wasn't home before our bed time, mom would make us sleep with clothes & shoes on in case we needed to leave in a hurry. Needless to say I grew up fast.  Mom worked all the time supporting the four of us. I was left with the baby and her father who was to stoned to change a diaper or make a meal.

It will soon be 11 years ago.  I could hear from outside that he and mom where at it again. I felt the rage building up inside as I started getting the shakes. I'd been waiting for this day. I'd had enough and this time I wasn't gonna hide. As I walked in the door. I watched my mother fly across the kitchen. He turned at me said what are yoiu looking at. Thats all it took I'm not sure if he came at me or if I went for him. But this was our fist BRAWL. All those years of pent up anger.. I was finally gettin mine! Its lasted for about 10 minutes before someone said the law was on the way. He took off and ran like the dog he is. And that was the last time I saw him.

I never let him get to me to much. I knew he was a no good no account. But it still hurts sometimes. Him telling me I'd never mount to nothing because of my real dad. Or my favorite "Your father was nothing but a Liar and you are too." that's usually what I got the beatings for. His daughter would do something I'd get the blame. If I admitted to doing it I'd get the belt. If I said I didn't (usually the truth) I'd get the belt for being a liar until I lied and said I did. Then I'd get the belt some more a little harder.

Thank You both! Your right I AM a Survivor!
I don't normally let my past get to me. It made me who I am. And I have no regrets.

It's my nieces I'm worried about. My half sister grew up seeing the same things I did but she still fell into her fathers footsteps. She smokes pot in front of her kids even while driving with them in the backseat. She dropped them off at my house last weekend. I swear I got a contact buzz when I got the oldest out of her car seat. the three of them live with my mother, due to the fact my sister can't hold a job long enough to live on her own. I knew my sister didn't provide the ideal life style for two young children. Its just that I talked to my mother the other day, and found out some all to familiar information that broke my heart. Those babies don't deserve to grow up that way. new Ajax.InPlaceEditor('cedit_1516493', '/ajax/edit_entry_comment.php', {rows:5,cols:60,callback: function(form, value) { return 'c=1516493&e=462362&comment=' + escape(value) }});

All this has caused me to regress back into that lil girl trying to find a way out. Not for me but for them. How do I stop them from growing up like I did with out taking the risk of never seeing them again. If I turn her in and take the girls from her it will start world war 3 as far as my family goes. Not to mention the girls have 2 differnent fathers whom i am for sure would try to take custody themselves.

hiddenwithin hiddenwithin
26-30
3 Responses Feb 19, 2009

Are the fathers of the girls in the pic. at all? would they do a better job at parenting than your sister? What about other grandparents? you need to have a serious conversation with your sister & then watch her very closely. you can't let what other people think keep you from helping your nieces. no telling what kind of medical damage she is doing to the kids if she is doing drugs around them. not to mention the fact that someone on drugs is not in the right fr<x>ame of mind to be around kids. what would happen if the kids got some of the drugs, or she had a accident, or got stoned out of her mind & left them somewhere or with some creep? you are not a scarred little girl anymore, you are a adult in a position to help before its to late.

thank you for allowing me to read your story. your very strong to put that out there.

God bless you.................you're a survivor. Don't worry about dear old stepdad; if he hasn't already, I'm sure he will get his due in the end. Abusers ALWAYS do. Take care & remain string, girlfriend!!!!