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I Am A Victim Of Domestic Violence

We have been together for almost 8 years now. He is an addiction for me. There are probably more bad times than good. All the accusations of made up men, all the raging outbursts. My kids are terrified of him. He has hit me only once, but he sure knows how to put me in the floor without laying a hand on me. He puts his head up against mine and forces me to the floor...screaming the entire time. But then there are the empty promises of " I love you's and I will change" that seem to make it all better and of course, the "explosive make up sex".  I moved out over 2 years ago,but he is still in my life, don't know if I will ever be completly rid of him. He knows just what to say to reel me back in. We will go months without talking and it drives me crazy, every minute of every day, wondering where he is and what he is doing, even though I know we are better off without him and it is so much more peaceful when he is not there...it's like this earning deep inside me that wants to "help him be a better person". We have a 5yr old daughter together, of which the court gave him quite a bit of visitation.....VERY scarry to send her with him, this is one reasons I stay close to him. He is very unstable, he has lived 4 differnet places in the last year and 1/2, of which includes his Mother's and his Grandmother's, they both made him leave due to his behavior. Each time I don't let her go , I am breaking a court order. I just wish that this would all go away and my life could be "normal" again.
mistymikeal mistymikeal 36-40 1 Response Jun 3, 2010

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You just consider him a comfort zone when he is not. He will never change and thats not love hitting or the way he treats you. I used to want to help my ex too because i would tell myelf he wasnt always like this but they were, it comes out at different times. My ex still has buttons he pushes and also has tried to geet back with me saying he changed but give a few days and i was back to being trash to him. It doesnt chane, the less contact the better. DONT feel bad for him its all fake and hejust knows all your weaknesses. i went to a counselor today that told me she conducted a batter class for men and all 30 men raised their hands saying they are not at fault. they shift blame and really dontbeilieve they are that person. He cant get me so hes using the kids by drilling them, if u give him false signs its gonna get worse. When u feel u thinking about him call a friend before him, he is not your friend. Put your child into counselng now and you too it will help u have a better understanding. there is a checklist and i couldnt believehe was every one of those... forcing sex, isolate you from family friends, control as if hesking, etc. go find someone nice and not someone that preys on your weakness.