Its Hurt Then And It Hurts Now
i was never raised in a family where id thought i suffer domestic violence, I'm just going to jump right into it.....well. @19 my boyfriend at the time was 33, i left my mothers house to be with him. at first everything was fine, but he did cocaine and got me on it as well.....when he would get high he would viciously beat me. the stupidest little things would set him off even if i had nothing to do with it. i lost my job because one night he punched me and split my lip, i couldn't go to work for days and at the time my manager was a jerk who didn't care and took my job from me even with documentation. this man hurt me for a series of 6-7 months, i got off the drugs and finally i ran back to mom.......my boyfriend now is my longest relationship.....he never used to hit me....never. he says that I'm the only girl he ever hit so i start to wonder if its all my fault. sorry to jump around but I'm typing as my mind thinks....today we were arguing and he was in the kitchen, i must have said something to set him off because he came running around the corner, i was sitting in the CPU chair and he punches me in the face....well if that isn't bad enough the back of my head slammed against the dresser and i blacked out for a split sec. when i came to he's apologizing......no longer the big mean monster that punched me but a little *****. I'm so mad right now i cant even hold back my tears, I'm slamming my fingers against this keyboard so damn hard i don't know if it will last...my boyfriend now used to be so sweet calm and loving but now he has called me: *****,hoe,****,*****,fat ***,ugly,trash,dirt,broad,stupid,and it goes on.....it hurts so much because I'm faithful....it hurts even more because this is the 2nd time around. i mean, hes living in my apt, yea he just got a job and I'm proud but i want him to stop hurting me so much, my throat still hurts on the inside from 2 weeks ago when he choked me, now I've got a lump on the back of my head from today....the beating is practically and everyday thing, he loves to take his anger out on me when i have nothing to do with it. sometime i want to just snap but i don't even think i can inflict pain on anyone the way he inflicts it on me.