A Year Has Passed

A Year has Passed
Like Socrates said, “Wonder brings wisdom.” If you do not wonder about something how will you ever learn?

My abuser did not want me to have knowledge, because knowledge is powerful, and that is what he took away from me, because he wanted power and control over me.

Sometimes the hardest lessons in life are the ones that make you the strongest. Those are also the times when you find out who your true friends are
Sometimes, all you need is one really good friend by your side coaching you on, and most importantly you have to be your own coach.

It is not easy, but changing your ways is the only way to change your life.
You cannot change your life if you are not willing to change yourself first. But, you have to do it for yourself and not anyone else, not even your children. They can be your motivation, but you need to do it for you in order really accept and make a change.

Learning how to love, trust, relax, and be confident and to live a healthy life style is a good start.

I have so many things to be happy for and not enough to be sad about. Be grateful for everything.

First, you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

Today, I have decided like so many other days to take control of my life, and I’m the only one that can do it.

With every loss there is a gain.

I thought I was doing the right thing. But, I did not think about how my choices were going to affect me and the ones I love.
We have all made careless thought less choices at one point in our lives. We cannot change the past, but we can change our future. By learning from our mistakes, growing from them and continuing to believe in ourselves.

No one is perfect and it is too stressful to try, it is easier just to be you
Victims think they need to suffer before they can enjoy. They put others before themselves. I thought I needed to do that in order to be a better person, but all I was doing was making myself feel unworthy.

I would always have to justify my actions, and feed into my guilt; it would go on and on. I never said NO, even if I didn’t want to. Then I would be mad at myself because I didn’t really want to do it, and I would be taken advantage of.

I do not need to suffer to reap the rewards. I can say no. I do not need to justify my actions, and I am done with feeling guilty for things I did not cause and cannot control.

I am moving through life at a better pace, trying to get to a better place.

I am done with always going through obstacles in life, and I am the one who has caused them. If I can be more responsible, if I am able to pay my bills, correct my mistakes and face my problems I know I will be able to take control of my life. If I continue to look at these problems in a positive problem solving way and let my thoughts flow instead of cluster, I will be able to grab a hold of my life and take it back.
By, Angela Warren
Domestic Violence Survivor
awarren98 awarren98
36-40, F
14 Responses Jun 3, 2011

It can be a very difficult thing to remove yourself from such a situation but you have shown that it is possible. People in this situation need support from wherever they can get it prior to getting away and afterwards too. What you have written here is truly inspirational. Thank you for sharing this.

Sounds like a Manifesto! Others need to see it!!

im really glad you managed to take control of your life i hope that i can do the same.very inspriing

Great story, thanks for sharing.

Thank you for sharing, I have found strength in your words!

Your story is inspirng to me. At first, i thought i was going throuh some sort of mid iife crisis myself, but then i am coming to realize that i just want a better life too. Making myself strong and loving myself is the only way to get through. There is nothing wrong with looking for inspiration to help get you through your days, its a great way to find out who you really are and what you want in life. I have dreams, and i am hoping that i make the right decisions in life to get me there, but if i don't then oh well, i know i have to learn from my mistakes. And i will. I can't worry about people judging me for the decisions in my life, because i have learned that judging someone is not within me. Everyone has to make mistakes to grow. Thank you for being my inspiration today:)

I hope I can have this mind set one day.

I hope I can have this mind set one day.

You sound intelligent and focused, passionate and optimistic. That is a good place, obviously. I suffered abuse at the hands of a family member, and I am paying for it big time especially over the last two years. I had a successful 20 year career with a six figure high profile career. But events in my life starting in 2003 began to build and grow and eventually made my unhappiness malignant and unmanageable. My body feels like an occupied country, like the Nazis invading Poland. I have pockets of resistance: that is as a single parent I can feed my son breakfast, get him ready for school, keep track of his grades and talk to his teachers. He has clean clothes and a safe place to live. But the invasion of despair and fear envelopes my "borders" and occupies my ability to function. My depression and anxiety, combined with my family history of depression and my upbringing apparently led to a total collapse a year ago October. I've been unable to work since on a consistent basis. Your comments and goals, while inspiring, seem miles away from where I stand. Still, your experience is an interesting read. In a way, I'm jealous of the perspective under which you are operating, because I can't see it in my world. On the other hand, anyone who can rid themselves of the negatives in their life by taking such control of their essence is someone to be admired for their courage and strength. I don't know you. But you are approaching your life the way so many of us should and would, if they could.

thank you for your comment. It's a fight every day, but I plan to not give up. I don't want those that abused me in my life to affect my future, I don't want to remain a victim. In life you can either give up or get up. I chose to get up. You can be your own bestfriend or your own worst enemy. I chose to be my own bestfriend. It is hard, there are times where I just can't go on, but I have friends that inspire, motivate me and support me. I never miss a therapy session, I take medication to limit my anxiety, I get out and enjoy life and it gives me great joy to help others. I have a lot of people who love me, but more importantly I love myself.

You can do this too. When you have a dream, a visison for yourself it can come true. Take action and motivate yourself, don't allow others who abused you to take your life away, you have to find a way to let it go, so you can be free.

Angela! the best of everything to you!!! I must correct one important thing! YOU are perfect just the way you are! if you try to change that! you will become the victim again!!! the only thing that changes must be e better version of who you really are!! thanks for sharing!

Thanks for this story! I hope I can get to this point too!

Reconizing the problem is the first step in overcoming it.<br />
I feel for you and support.<br />
My wife was molested as a child, then went threw 2 abusive marriages, <br />
I have been married to her for 19 years in Feburary. <br />
I am amazed how many ladies are abused.<br />
There is some one for you.

Thank you, I actually found someone who is sweet and caring. We love each other very much. He knows what I have been through and he has been there for me when I needed him to be. I am much happier and feel that I am very lucky to be givin a second chance at happiness.

thank you, it took some work and a great deal of courage to realise these things.

I know my wifes story is quit a story, I can not beleive what she has been threw. I am sure your story also life changing.

You are so right