Where Did My Family Go

I have been with my husband for about 10 years we have a son together and he had helped raise my twelve year old. My husband is a drug addict and alcoholic and he is very abusive mentally and physically. The last incident I called the police and there was already an order of protection because he abused me the month before. and yes I let him come back with the order in place. This time he had a knife and chased me around the table with it and my kids were watching. He destroyed many personal possesions laptop, TVs, and keepsakes. He punched me in the head repeatedly and then I called the police and they arrested him on 10,000 bail. I helped bail him out (dont judge) and then he didnt talk to me for about a week, I went nuts wondering what he was doing and why he wasnt calling. Well then he finally got ahold of me and things are great again. An order of protection is still there and he is out on bail and he has been spending time with me and the kids. Well I asked the DA to send him to rehab because he only gets like this when there is drugs and alcohol involved other than that hes a great guy. Well he went for intake yesterday and supposed to go to rehab tomorrow and he hasnt even called since the intake. I dont understand he says he is doing this for our family but yet he is not answering me when I call. Well to top it off his family hates me now, but they dont have to live with the abuse and the torment I have for the last 10 years. I am crazy to care but I do. Maybe I like being abused that sounds crazy, but it is how I feel. I need to get over this and move on with my life and let myself heal. So the DA called today and they said that he is not eligible for rehab because of his priors and he is wasting his time and that he has to do a mandatory 11/3-3. OMG I cant even imagine they have hit him with so many charges and 3 felonies because of the order of protection. I am mad at myself for involving the police but at the same time I cant live in a unsafe enviroment neither can my children. I hope this feeling goes away because my mind is racing and I cant stop crying. I am a mess to love a man who hurts me.
deejay1214 deejay1214
36-40, F
3 Responses May 24, 2012

If only he loved you as much as you love him,, but he does not. He loves alcohol and drugs and thats it.You cant change him, only he can do that. He is toxic to you and your kids.
Your kids deserve peace and calm in their lives, not abuse and upheaval. This is bad for their emotional health and future.
Put your kids before this selfish,abusive addict and move on.

You did nothing wrong he did.

This is how it is and honestly the consiquences are all he will understand. Addicts never seek help until they are starving, sleeping crap and lost everything. At least in jail he will be sober and required to take classes. My wife tried to make me feel like it was my fault and even tried to threaten and intimidate me into writing the da. He needs tough love and if loves you he will get sober. But don't see him at first without a counselor and give it time before letting him back in. Also go to legal and protect your rights. Never let someone not do their job get te court protection, support and police reports. If you get a run around with the police keep calling and call legal aid.