So Hard To Make A Call For Help

I never imagined I would be back in this situation, again ....
I feel stupid. All I try to do is be nice, and it totally backfires on me.

Today, once again, I come home. Called a c---. Threatened, then
Jumped on, choked, my teeth through my upper lip, more bruising.
Bloody mouth, scrapes on my face. Angry purple marks on my body.
Finger marks on my arms.

I try to grab my phone, he is stronger. Grabs it away, tries to break it.
Even if I still had it in my hands, I doubt I would call.

Scared of what will happen if I do. What concequences will occur,
Will he make good on threats to call my parents and spew things that would
Break there hearts ? Will he hurt me even worse?

So I don't call. I never call. When I yell for help, after he chokes me to the point
Of near strangulation, or drags me across the floor from the couch, or
Throws me into the bed, chair or floor, nobody comes

He Really hurt me a month ago, I thought my leg was broken, along with my ribs-
Not sure, I never went to the Hospital, I couldn't - I wasn't able to get out of bed for days.

Scared to call the police, scared not too. His threats, accusations, lies,
Promises, they blur into a frenzy of conflicting thoughts and emotions .

I try to pretend its ok. I smile, remain my usual cheery self. I cover the marks,
Make excuses. Hope he will change. He never does, it gets worse.
It's escalating. I tried to call for help finally - they were closed.

Here I sit in a 5 star hotel
Lobby , across the street from my home - where I am no longer safe.
He calls, he texts, but I dont answer. I sit writing this, and plotting my next move.


Speaking of moving, in one week I have to move. I don't know where, I haven't found a place.
I need to pack, to clean, to search, but i Can't because of him. Wish me luck. I am going to need it.
Misssfortune Misssfortune
26-30, F
3 Responses May 24, 2012

Thank you<br />
I managed to move but he wont leave me alone-<br />
He doesn't know where I'm moving too but it's only a matter of time

Don't let him talk you into anything until he has been through dv classes and only meet with a counselor it should be at least 6 months. I know they will try to make you feel bad but its his fault.

Call the national domestic violence hotline for shelter and call the police. Get a restraining order and sue his ***. 1-800-799-7233 for help. Please go to their website and look at their safety tips.