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I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence

8 Yrs Of Abuse

By: Honeysaggar05
Written on June 12th, 2012
Hey ladies I am married for8 yrs to a verbally physically financially abusive and controlling man. We live in his house bought after marriage and have 2 cars . My older child is 7 yrs old and younger s 2. Acc to my husband I am worthless useless human being. I am stay at home mom and a very good mother. But my husband has never given me any rights as that of a wife. I can't buy clothes for myself can't buy clothes for my children have no allowance, can't take up a job, can't make friends etc let is endless. For all my basic needs I have to ask my brother to support it,
When I try to talk to him abt this, my husband gets abusive, calling me and my family names, threats to hurt me and my family etc.
Am done with him and really wanna move out.
I have been reading all your great stories but wanna know what should be my first step in leaving him. Ave read that if I leave him all of a sudden and take my kids out, my family is 4 hrs away from me , can we o to them? Wd it be called abandonment and wd affect my custody battle?
If yes what s the other way of doing it, has anyone of u stayed in your home and filed and fighter your battle, how to follow it legally?
My family is. Big support for me and is always with me, can't I be with them at peace?
And how id u ladies prove the level of abuse u had been facing!
By: Honeysaggar05
Age: 31-35
250 people have read this story

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    number1mommy26
    number1mommy26

    I am the same way. Been 6 years since I split with my ex and our son is almost 7 and all he can have is supervised visits, but has only seen our son maybe 7 times in the last 6 years. He tried to kill me when I left him and I remember being up for the next 24 hours filing a restraining order against him and going to get pictures of the bruising taken at the police station which was used as evidence and any letters,text messages, phone messages or bloody clothing you may have save, because when I filed for Sole,Physical and legal custody of our son, he made it sound like everything was my fault, but I paid for him to be drug tested which he failed to show up for which made the test an automatic positive even though he is a druggie and an alcoholic and after 3 years of having no contact with our son he took me back to court for joint custody and I got an attorney. He still had not passed a drug test, so my attorney had my ex agree that he could not bring me back to court until he passed a hair folical drug test and proved it to the courts and needless to say he has not, but any evidence that you can get together that you can show the courts and not just hear say is good. Drug testing is good, because the mediators will say well the kids need their dad and you fight fight fight with tears or not. Abusive men do not deserve to be around their children.The courts are supposed to go with what is in the best interest of the children. If you have any police reports or have called the police on him before you will need that. Document everything he says and does and the time and dates it all happens. I also did this and I made the courts sit and listen to me as I cried. If your husband has been on porbation or arrested for abusive behavior get copies of any information you can.And file child support, because once you leave he will not want to pay you anything outta pocket.

    I have a website that you can checkout that tells my story and might give you an idea about how everything works.

    www.justsaynotodomesticviolence.webs.com



    I wish the best for you and your family.

    Jul 10, 2012
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    Iriseagain
    Iriseagain

    Hey, hun sounds a lot like my ex. I called the domestic violence helpline & got a place in a refuge took my kids with me.

    Now its up to him to arrange contact though a court should only be supervised as history of violence. One place of advice try to get evidence of his abuse, I have txts, a police report & recorded calls of him being abusive.

    If you have evidence I cnt see you getting in trouble for taking the kids surely better off with you then an abusive man & one of your children is old enough to witness the abuse themselves. its only abandonment if you leave them, then you may have trouble getting them back. Hope Ive helped, its hard to leave but best thing Ive ever done still going though the emotional rollercoaster but I dnt regret it one bit! Hugs to you hun , & I hope you find the strength to leave him.

    Feel free to msg me if you need someone to talk to x

    Jun 14, 2012
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