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How Did I Become "that Girl?"

You hear so many people talk about "that girl."
Usually it's girls talking about "that girl." That girl that always lets her boyfriend cheat on her, that girl that lets people walk all over her, you get my drift?
I was one of "those girls." I never thought I would be the one to let someone talk down to me, let alone beat me while I was pregnant.
Before "you know who" I was different, I feared nothing, I was the one to throw the first punch, the one you could dare to do anything!
What happened to me? I ask myself that almost every day now. Why did you let it get so bad?
you would think that when your carrying someone's unborn child they wouldn't hit you, let alone throw you around.
Yep, I was "that girl."
I will never forget the first time he slapped me. I cried and cried. Not because it hurt but because my ear was still ringing and I knew there was no talking my way out of this one, It was definitely going to bruise.
No matter how much I hated him, I didn't want to be alone. I hate being alone, Still to this day.
It just got worse from there.
He would lock me in closets, choke me, threaten to kill the dog if I kept screaming, steal my phone to make sure I couldn't call for help, the list goes on and on. I never called the cops I was too afraid. Honestly I wasn't afraid of him, I always fought back no matter how bad he kicked my ***, I was more afraid of people knowing I was "that girl."
The last night I let him attack me was shocking. I usually saw it coming but he caught me off guard that night. He had been drinking and to make a long story short he wanted to have sex and I refused....To be honest, If it wasn't for my friend forgetting her car seat in my apartment I wouldn't be alive to write this. He chocked me till I was almost unconcious, I couldn't scream because he had his hand so tight around my mouth I felt like my teeth were about to fall out.
Long story short, He is now in prison for vehicular manslaughter and is getting out in a couple months and has made it very obvious that he is going to find me and the STUPID *** police wont do anything to protect me! They say they need recent evidence to do anything. So I guess if I live threw the next event I can make a police report! Thanks for protecting me, I will be buying a gun.
That is "the girl" im going to be.
michaelaj89 michaelaj89 22-25 2 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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Wow girl! I was that girl too. I was so strong. Had my **** together but I didn't want to be alone and I stayed to fool everyone else. For a long time I hated myself but now I'm so numb to bullshit that I will never do this to myself again. I fought back hard but it still affected me to no end. Protect yourself! The law isn't on our side at all. If you have to pop a cap in that *****, you do it and do it for the rest of us too and then comeback and tell us about it. Save your own life

Your right the cops.aren't on my side. He gets out in november so I have a lot of prepairing to do to protect myself (escape routes and such). I honestly believe that fighting them back just makes the aftermath worse for us..not the beatings that is going to happen anyways, but the guilt of "you are just as bad, you hit him also" but I have children. I have to protect ALL OF US!!!! If I'm going to be killed by him I'm atleast going to give him a fight he will remember!!! I'm done ranting now lol. Thanks for the comment :)

Wow ! I admire your spirit. Your story is somewhat similar to mine. I got married to this inhuman a**. He used to beat me up on the silliest of pretex. I never dared to refuse sex with him, because he would beat me up badly. I hate myself for having let that happen to me...yes, I was also 'that girl'. Its been just 2 months into my marriage, I have now left him, aborted his kid and am looking for a job. I did not hand him over to the police for lack of evidence. But im sure God has been watching and He'll ensure that jerk gets the right punishment.<br />
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I wish all the best and hope God gives you the strength to fight this.....way to go !!