Does It Get Easier?

The father of my children abused me and cheated on me for 3 years. Why put up with it for that long right? I don't know, I loved him and to this day he claims he still loves me. He helped me make the little people who matter most to me. The last beating was in May 2011. That was the straw that broke the camels back. He was charges with criminal contempt, kidnapping and assault For 3 years I put up with him because I loved him and I wanted my children to have something i didn't have... A family. But I was fed up with him and all that was him. While his trial was pending, I met a guy and he loves me, the only thing is I'm still stuck on the things my ex has done. How do I move forward? Will I ever be able to get over my insecurities and trust issues? I've always been there for my ex and I feel like I know I should be happy, but do I deserve it? I'm always on the defense, how do I let my guard down and really love my current boyfriend back? This thing we call life, it's so hard...
Emikah Emikah
26-30, F
5 Responses Aug 28, 2012

Maybe you didn't give yourself enough time to get over your ex? anyways, I hope it's working out with your new guy. you sound like you went through a lot of BS with Him.

you deserve to be happy dear,for the fact that your ex did recognise how special,wonderful and beautiful you are someone else does. don't blame yourself you deserve something better than he offered you.

Take one day at a time and just the fact that you are asking yourself if you deserve to be happy has the resemblance of the control your ex possessed on your life. I feel the same I have this wonderful man that literally saved me and made me believe I am worth it and now we just need to believe it too. Keep strong and remind yourself daily you are worth it and a strong survivor.

It does get easier. However, you do not forget. Have you spoken to your boyfried about the domestic violence you suffered? It is very difficult to be a survivor of domestic violence, just remember you have survived which will make you stronger in the long run.

Yes! YOU DO DESERVE IT! You and you're kids all deserve to be happy!