Domestic Violence


Have been reading almost all the stories listed in this page. I have been married for the last 3 years and recently had a baby. I thought bringing baby into this small family of me and my husband will change my equation with him and the story took a different turn. I was married in 2010 and that is when I came to the United States on a dependant visa (H4), which also means no job. my husband was very sweet before we got married but suddenly change, became violent with extremely abusive language and the tendency to hit me on and off for very trivial things as soon as I reached here. I have been trying to speak to my in-laws about this but they are trying to cover it all up. Last nite, he hit me very badly on my neck and literally squeezed my mouth with his both hands and hurt my back too. He threatens to hurt me and my family back in India and also threatens to keep the baby with him. Can someone please guide me through a proper and legal way out that I can get in this country. Also, if I seek shelter at a domestic violence shelter, will they help me find a job to support me and my baby. Thx.
mikelittle mikelittle
8 Responses Dec 23, 2012

You need to leave as soon as possible. I know this is such a late reply seeing as this was posted in 2012 but report it to the police and don't stand for it. You are a strong woman and shouldn't let ANY man no matter who it is put their hands on you. Please leave before things become too late... It only gets worse.

Were you abused by a romantic partner? Did you abuse a romantic partner? In many cases, I believe the parents help pick up the pieces in the aftermath.

I am conducting research to explore the help provided by parents when faced with their adult child's experience with domestic violence.

If you are interested, please encourage your parents to take a 20 minute survey at

Really???? come on. She is reaching out for help and you are soliciting research rethink your approach!!!! I see this is your theme...

I can appreciate your concern, flodial. I do understand your perspective. I was in an abusive marriage and it is incredibly painful. At the time of my abuse, I would have appreciated knowing that professionals even knew that domestic violence existed and were continuing to uncover the truth.

Thank you for your thoughts. And if you mean by me reaching out to folks to obtain information for the sake of helping in the field of domestic violence, this is my "theme," then yes, you are correct.

Research is tough. I don't expect everyone to like it. It can feel very intrusive, and I do understand that. This is part of the reason why I do it in anonymous forums where people can bypass the call to action.

In any case, I do expect to benefit people in the future. My apologies to the original poster if I have offended you.

Sorry for your pain. Just get out. Leave and worry about the rest later. I know it will be difficult but it's what you have to do for you and your child's safety. Follow the advice of awarrren98. Please please know you have support. It is just up to you to reach out for it. I wouldn't think that his family would be helpful most try to just ignore or blame you for the problems. Keep strong and be true to yourself. Here for your support.

This is the website for the national domestic violence hotline., on there you can call and speak to someone, they can get you into a shelter for you and your baby. They do help with things like getting a job and a place of your own. If you need anything else please send me an email,, I am a domestic violence counselor and I maybe able to help you out further.

Thanks so much for your kind support friends, It means a lot to me at this point in time. If you read and understand what I am looking for is a way to support myself and my baby financially and I am on H4, What kind of help can i get??? Can anyone suggest me that! Would be great!!! Thx.

If you need to talk to someone about abuse I am here for you. I have been through it as well.

Do not worry mikelittle. Get away from him and call the police. Are you a citizen or just have a visa? Either way, you need to get you and your baby out of that situation. It is a scary one.

Your husband sounds very cruel. You are definitely in need of protection from him. I'm not sure what the legal procedure is in the US regarding domestic violence. I'm not sure if there is a more effective way but until then, why don't you try the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It's a 24-hour, confidential and toll-free number set up to protect people against domestic violence. 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

They have a website: But as a warning, access their site on a safer computer. Your computer or internet usage might be monitored!