I Still Don't Believe That Someone You Trusted More Than Yourself Can Do This To You!!

Currently I am in a recovery mode and have NO CONTACT at all with this guy but few times I still wish things would have been amazing if it I would have tried and I'm broken again because I know its just an illusion but would love to hear from your point of view. No one believes he can do this with me and this story belongs to Hoboken, NJ. I just pray to god no other innocent girl should get trapped in this because I still can't understand what was my fault and why did I pay for caring and loving unconditionally.

Three years ago I already had a boyfriend and was in a long distance relationship with him. Things were good between us but I was in my 20s and always lived a life of single immature girl. My parents live abroad and so I was surviving completely on my own unaware of such personalities. This guy met me through our mutual friend's group and he started coming closer to me instantly. We started talking online and through text messages and within few days he became my BEST friend. He would go everywhere with me for my job interviews,shopping and and every single place I would mention to him. BUT since day one he KNEW that I had a boyfriend and we were serious about each other.
I never realized when we actually became more than friends. He would text me all the time and call me. Within one year I started getting away from my long distance boyfriend. I would avoid his calls and messages and won't see him for months.
He would keep on dragging me for things I would not want to do. He will push me to stay over at his place and see him even when I don't want to. He would always be charming with me and show that no one else cares more than himself. Exactly after one year he suddenly started talking to his other family friend. She was living in other state but they were continuously talking all through the day.
I think he was also planning to date her soon. I found it out and cried day and night but I also gave him freedom to do anything he wanted because Officially I was in a long distance relationship with someone else but still developed feelings for him on the other side. I never asked him what do they talk about and how far they have gone but the other girl also visited him meanwhile. This thing went on for another one year and during this phase I was completely broken and was no where.
I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and would never stop crying and also I was in serious trauma.

Though he claimed that he LOVES me truly he never stopped talking to other girl no matter how much I cry or beg him. After all these my boyfriend with whom I shared long distance relation arrived in my town and started living just a mile away. I wasn't the same person to my boyfriend anymore. I was changed and had no feelings for him anymore. I would keep on crying because he made me addicted of me and I felt handicapped. Finally I asked if I could be with him forever because I wasn't able to live without him and he changed overnight. He kept on blaming me for everything that how he doesn't like me anymore and i killed his feelings and I was the one ruined his feelings because I was still in long distance relation and never came to him.

This made me suicidal and I remember standing with a knife in one of my hand. Luckily my boyfriend was there to save my life and he has been a real GOD to me. After all these I stopped talking to him and he made few efforts that how he was not prepared for all these and my sudden decision of dating him scared him very much.

He said sorry cried a lot after few months this other girl whom he was talking to came to visit him but according to him they were just friends. We all went out together and that other girl figured he was actually more attracted to me and not her. She got drunk that night and created lots of drama that how she specially came to see him and he doesn't pay any attention on her. I couldn't bear with these things and decided to leave from the place on my own. As soon as I went out to take a cab HE HIT ME ACROSS MY FACE. It was so bad that I was about to fall and was completely blank for a moment. this incidence changed my life and made me believe there was surely something wrong here.
Long story short...
Right now I'm not at all talking to him. He made several excuses by blaming on alcohol and he is also currently talking to other girl but still won't agree to it that shows I was never special to him. I have blocked him from everywhere but this painful past makes me cry every time especially when you sacrifice so much unconditionally.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 14, 2013