I Hate My Husband

I thought I loved him, I thought he loved me. I hate him, he has never loved me. I realize that now. I've stuck with him seven years and I want to get out now. He attacked me last night, I had to wait till now to write because I couldn't type a sentence with out crying. I got pregnant with his daughter when I was a freshman in high school. I was shunned and had to move in with him. We weren't even in love, we liked each other a lot but not love. Well, I wasn't head over heels at the time but I became hoh when I realized I was stuck with him. When we moves out at age 17, to our own apartment, I was prego with twins. Two more girls. Alex had a job, I didn't, I had already dropped out of school. Alex controlled all the money, I had literally no money. Alex wouldn't let me leave the apartment. He made up some story so the security guy would call him if I tried to leave. The first time he hit me was when I was 18.For three years he had been yelling at me when I was stupid and bringing down my esteem. I tried to go to Walgreen to get Amanda some Tylenol for her fever. I barrowed a few dollars from my neighbor and She babysat. Alex got home and saw her there. She left and I got home shortly after because Alex was just putting away his stuff. I walked in and He started yelling. I told him I went to Amanda meds. He called me a ***** and said I was cheating on him. I said it was ridiculous, that I never leave or talk to any one, we don' t have a phone, and that I was gone for fourth five mins, max. He said I was cheating U said No ******* way! You're Just ******* retarted. He slapped me and pushed me backwards. Don' t ******* ever talk to m like that, you ******* ho. You''re a ******* *****! No body will ever like you, you''re ******* stupid! He yelled. My 11 month old daughters started screaming and crying. I was already crying.
The abuse just got worse and worse. I had a period where I didn't leave our apartment for five months. When Alex and I did go out together, I couldn't wear make up or anything other then a turtle neck sweater and non skinny jeans and tennis shoes. I had to wear a sports bra and cotton pads so I looked Unattracktive.I glanced over at another guy and he beat me when I got home, if I talked to anyone, even worse beating. I hated my life. I still do. I want to get out now. How do I do that with seven kids, including one one the way, No drivers license, no money and no where to go? Please comment. Thank you
An Ep User An EP User
5 Responses Jan 27, 2013

1-800-799-7233 National hotline

seek shelter - or call up the 24 hours domestic violence helpline - they will help you get into some kind of shelter but you cant tell anyone where you are at - not even your family - you have to do what is right for you and get back on your feet

You can go the national domestic violence hotline website, www.ndvh.org, on there you can speak to a counselor 24hrs a day. They can help move you to a safe shelter, and help with getting your own place.
Good luck, I wish you the best.

If you have no personal friends or family to go to(and you HAVE to leave him), try this website:

It's the contacts page for Battered Women's Support Services. If you don't have a phone to access, there are email addresses to contact. Good luck....

Have you tried reporting this to police or an organisation that helps with this. Domestic violence is agaisnt the law almost everhwere. You need to get you and your kids away from your partner, although i'm hoping you already know that. So you don't even have like a friend(girl)? What about your parents? Maybe when you partner goes to work you could grab your seven kids and go to the closest police station. Hope you make it out. Best of wishes.