I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence
I've known him for about six years. Throughout those years, we dated off an on, and if we were dating other people, we were still close best friends. We had started dating again about two years ago, this time it got serious and I moved in with him, two hours away from my family, and had a son.
Looking back, there were so many signs. Him controlling who I got to hang out with and when, punching walls(Our house had more than twenty five holes in it before I left), and telling me he wanted to hit me. Fighting was a normal thing.
When we had our son, things changed. I was constantly being told that he was cheating on me since we weren't having sex. There wasn't much of a doubt, by this time there wasn't much I'd put past him and I wanted to leave. But he always threatened to take the baby away because he had a job and I didn't. And if I did leave, he always knew the right thing to say to get me back. He was having work problems, so he would come home with his friends and get high in the house. Sometimes they'd even start if me and the baby were in the living room with them. I just started staying in the babies room all day with the door shut until it was time to go to bed just to stay away from it. I hated it and he knew it. He wasn't concerned about our babies health and if I spoke my mind, I got chewed out for it. So I just started to stay away.
One night, we had a horrible fight. He threw knifes into the kitchen wall, accused me of cheating on him, called me every name on the planet and, his favorite, told me I was mentally challenged because I "started" every fight, and everything was my fault. I was sitting on our bed, which is about four feet tall, and he came in yelling at me and started to try and pull me off the bed, I got away, so he shoved the top mattress off the bottom part enough that I lost balance and fell to the floor. He was grabbing at me and trying to pull me. I was crying and begging him to leave me alone. That's when he calmed down and carried me into the living room and just held me. That's how a lot of these ended. Once I'd start to get scared of him, he would stop and hold me.
I had enough, and told him I wanted to go home. I told him I didn't want this life anymore, that I couldn't do it, and I just needed time to go back home and think about if this was really what I wanted. We agreed to sleep on it, and if I felt the same way in the morning I could go.
In the morning, we ended up going to walmart. On the way back, I noticed his driving was scarier than usual. We were on a country road, going over 85. That part was normal, it was the recklessness of it that wasn't. Almost going into the ditches, missing stop signs and stopping in the middle of the cross section instead. He even hit a couple curbs once we made it in town. We got out and started getting groceries when he told me a friend was stuck in a ditch and needed help. He wanted to take my small truck to get this guys big truck out of a deep ditch. I said not to take mine, because I was going to trade my truck for my brother in laws car and I knew it would get damaged. He said okay, then pulled me into a tight hug, kissed me, and told me he really did love me and wanted me to stay and that he was sorry for the night before. I went inside and that was the last I saw of him. His mom brought our son back about an hour later and asked where he was and that my truck was gone. I was furious, called him over and over, and got no answer. When he did get a hold of me, it was threw a text saying he was sitting in the country thinking.
He was gone from 7 pm to 2:30 in the morning. He came home drunk. I'm sure he was high too, and later I found out that when we were at walmart, he took 7 pills a girl gave him, which is why his driving was crazy. I don't know how many more of those pills he took, plus combining it to the beer and weed. He could barely walk. He wanted me to wake up our one year old and let HIM drive us to the next town to get cigarettes, I wasn't putting my son in the car with him. I kept telling him no. He got up in my face and told me he just wanted to go out and have fun and spend time with me. I told him to go to bed. I wasn't budging. He stormed out, started my truck and peeled out of the drive way. He called me a couple minutes later saying he was going to wreck trying to get there and it would be my fault if he did. I eventually gave in, on one condition, that I drove. He said no, that he could drive. After telling me he was going to wreck. So I told him no.
He threatened to drag me out to the truck and leave our one year old home alone. He came in, grabbed onto my ankles and started pulling me off the couch. I screamed because he was hurting me. He pushed a pillow over my face to smoother me, and told me he was sick and tired of my acting like a baby and screaming. I pushed him and the pillow away and that's when he wrapped his arm around my neck and choked me. I was gripping onto my phone, so he snatched it and threw it behind the TV and told me not to even think about calling someone, then bit my forearm so hard I couldn't even think.
Eventually he got off and started saying it was all our sons fault. If we didn't have him, we would still be a perfect couple. He said we should give him to his mom so we wouldn't have an responsibilities. I fought with him on this, so he choked me again. When he let go and walked away, I wasn't going to stay inside until he decided to do it again. I went out the door and was about to the neighbors, but then I was horrified. What if he was hurting our son while I was out here asking for help? I stopped and looked back at our house. He stood at the door. He was yelling at me to come back inside now or I was going to get it. I could only shake my head no and take baby steps towards the neighbors. He got so mad he kicked the glass out of our screen door before running at me and slamming me down into the neighbors yard. I was screaming as loud as I could, hoping someone would come out since the neighbors lights were on. But he choked me, and slammed my head down. I remember thinking I was going to die, right as he loosened his grip enough for me to slip out and run to the middle of the road. He was chasing after me and I was screaming at him to stop, to leave me alone. He grabbed me and choked me again, and started dragging me to the house. I started fighting back. I fell to my knees on the grass and struggled out of his grip. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled out a chunk of it. He was grabbing and pulling and I was hitting and pushing away. I tired out fast, so he had me, dragging me to the front porch. I saw all the glass on the ground, and I told him I was barefoot. He told me he didn't care and he hoped I got glass in my feet. Then he pushed me in the pile of glass and in the house.
He sat on the couch and I stood on the other side of the room. "What am I going to do with you now?" He screamed. "The cops are going to be called because of that little stunt you pulled out there."
I couldn't say anything but apologize. I was hoping that by telling him what he wanted to hear, he wouldn't get mad and lash out again. I told him how out of line I was, and I'd explain it to the cops.
"What am I going to do with you now?!" He had screamed, and then threatened to kill me.
He launched at me again, and this is the part that always gets me when I remember it. As he's choking me, he's screaming, "I'm not my father, stop treating me like I'm my F***ing father!" and let me go and went outside.
That was all the chance I needed, I started looking for my phone. I couldn't find it and started getting scared that he'd come back and see me looking and get mad. So I grabbed the hammer that was sitting on the TV stand and took it back into the bathroom with me. That's where I studied myself in the mirror, took in my bloodied lip, the redness of my neck.. I didn't want to die there. But I wasn't going to use that hammer. I put it down and started doing the only thing else that I knew to do; Pray. Just five words. "God, please help us. Please."
Right then, there was a knock on the door. I went to the back door first, thinking he went around to the back and it was locked, but he wasn't there. So I slowly made my way to the front and opened the door. As soon as I saw the flashing lights, I started crying in relief. The cops had him.
I texted his mom first, since she was up late trying to find him too. She worked early, so I knew she was my best bet of not being alone. Then I called my parents. It was almost four in the morning.
About five ish, his mom showed up. She hugged me and said she was sorry, that she thought she raised him to not do what his father did to her. But he still did. She helped clean the glass up and her, her husband and their daughter all stayed with me until my parents showed up.
After leaving, they updated me on everything. His step-dad informed me that it was all planned out in his phone, and that he cheated on me that night with the girl who gave him pills. I got an order or protection and the only reason I saw him was for court, which was one of the hardest things for me. Especially since he was pleading un guilty. But, he admitted to the judge how many pills he took at walmart, what kind they were and who his supplier was. He was in jail for almost three months. And the day before my birthday, he got out.
Looking back, there were so many signs. Him controlling who I got to hang out with and when, punching walls(Our house had more than twenty five holes in it before I left), and telling me he wanted to hit me. Fighting was a normal thing.
When we had our son, things changed. I was constantly being told that he was cheating on me since we weren't having sex. There wasn't much of a doubt, by this time there wasn't much I'd put past him and I wanted to leave. But he always threatened to take the baby away because he had a job and I didn't. And if I did leave, he always knew the right thing to say to get me back. He was having work problems, so he would come home with his friends and get high in the house. Sometimes they'd even start if me and the baby were in the living room with them. I just started staying in the babies room all day with the door shut until it was time to go to bed just to stay away from it. I hated it and he knew it. He wasn't concerned about our babies health and if I spoke my mind, I got chewed out for it. So I just started to stay away.
One night, we had a horrible fight. He threw knifes into the kitchen wall, accused me of cheating on him, called me every name on the planet and, his favorite, told me I was mentally challenged because I "started" every fight, and everything was my fault. I was sitting on our bed, which is about four feet tall, and he came in yelling at me and started to try and pull me off the bed, I got away, so he shoved the top mattress off the bottom part enough that I lost balance and fell to the floor. He was grabbing at me and trying to pull me. I was crying and begging him to leave me alone. That's when he calmed down and carried me into the living room and just held me. That's how a lot of these ended. Once I'd start to get scared of him, he would stop and hold me.
I had enough, and told him I wanted to go home. I told him I didn't want this life anymore, that I couldn't do it, and I just needed time to go back home and think about if this was really what I wanted. We agreed to sleep on it, and if I felt the same way in the morning I could go.
In the morning, we ended up going to walmart. On the way back, I noticed his driving was scarier than usual. We were on a country road, going over 85. That part was normal, it was the recklessness of it that wasn't. Almost going into the ditches, missing stop signs and stopping in the middle of the cross section instead. He even hit a couple curbs once we made it in town. We got out and started getting groceries when he told me a friend was stuck in a ditch and needed help. He wanted to take my small truck to get this guys big truck out of a deep ditch. I said not to take mine, because I was going to trade my truck for my brother in laws car and I knew it would get damaged. He said okay, then pulled me into a tight hug, kissed me, and told me he really did love me and wanted me to stay and that he was sorry for the night before. I went inside and that was the last I saw of him. His mom brought our son back about an hour later and asked where he was and that my truck was gone. I was furious, called him over and over, and got no answer. When he did get a hold of me, it was threw a text saying he was sitting in the country thinking.
He was gone from 7 pm to 2:30 in the morning. He came home drunk. I'm sure he was high too, and later I found out that when we were at walmart, he took 7 pills a girl gave him, which is why his driving was crazy. I don't know how many more of those pills he took, plus combining it to the beer and weed. He could barely walk. He wanted me to wake up our one year old and let HIM drive us to the next town to get cigarettes, I wasn't putting my son in the car with him. I kept telling him no. He got up in my face and told me he just wanted to go out and have fun and spend time with me. I told him to go to bed. I wasn't budging. He stormed out, started my truck and peeled out of the drive way. He called me a couple minutes later saying he was going to wreck trying to get there and it would be my fault if he did. I eventually gave in, on one condition, that I drove. He said no, that he could drive. After telling me he was going to wreck. So I told him no.
He threatened to drag me out to the truck and leave our one year old home alone. He came in, grabbed onto my ankles and started pulling me off the couch. I screamed because he was hurting me. He pushed a pillow over my face to smoother me, and told me he was sick and tired of my acting like a baby and screaming. I pushed him and the pillow away and that's when he wrapped his arm around my neck and choked me. I was gripping onto my phone, so he snatched it and threw it behind the TV and told me not to even think about calling someone, then bit my forearm so hard I couldn't even think.
Eventually he got off and started saying it was all our sons fault. If we didn't have him, we would still be a perfect couple. He said we should give him to his mom so we wouldn't have an responsibilities. I fought with him on this, so he choked me again. When he let go and walked away, I wasn't going to stay inside until he decided to do it again. I went out the door and was about to the neighbors, but then I was horrified. What if he was hurting our son while I was out here asking for help? I stopped and looked back at our house. He stood at the door. He was yelling at me to come back inside now or I was going to get it. I could only shake my head no and take baby steps towards the neighbors. He got so mad he kicked the glass out of our screen door before running at me and slamming me down into the neighbors yard. I was screaming as loud as I could, hoping someone would come out since the neighbors lights were on. But he choked me, and slammed my head down. I remember thinking I was going to die, right as he loosened his grip enough for me to slip out and run to the middle of the road. He was chasing after me and I was screaming at him to stop, to leave me alone. He grabbed me and choked me again, and started dragging me to the house. I started fighting back. I fell to my knees on the grass and struggled out of his grip. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled out a chunk of it. He was grabbing and pulling and I was hitting and pushing away. I tired out fast, so he had me, dragging me to the front porch. I saw all the glass on the ground, and I told him I was barefoot. He told me he didn't care and he hoped I got glass in my feet. Then he pushed me in the pile of glass and in the house.
He sat on the couch and I stood on the other side of the room. "What am I going to do with you now?" He screamed. "The cops are going to be called because of that little stunt you pulled out there."
I couldn't say anything but apologize. I was hoping that by telling him what he wanted to hear, he wouldn't get mad and lash out again. I told him how out of line I was, and I'd explain it to the cops.
"What am I going to do with you now?!" He had screamed, and then threatened to kill me.
He launched at me again, and this is the part that always gets me when I remember it. As he's choking me, he's screaming, "I'm not my father, stop treating me like I'm my F***ing father!" and let me go and went outside.
That was all the chance I needed, I started looking for my phone. I couldn't find it and started getting scared that he'd come back and see me looking and get mad. So I grabbed the hammer that was sitting on the TV stand and took it back into the bathroom with me. That's where I studied myself in the mirror, took in my bloodied lip, the redness of my neck.. I didn't want to die there. But I wasn't going to use that hammer. I put it down and started doing the only thing else that I knew to do; Pray. Just five words. "God, please help us. Please."
Right then, there was a knock on the door. I went to the back door first, thinking he went around to the back and it was locked, but he wasn't there. So I slowly made my way to the front and opened the door. As soon as I saw the flashing lights, I started crying in relief. The cops had him.
I texted his mom first, since she was up late trying to find him too. She worked early, so I knew she was my best bet of not being alone. Then I called my parents. It was almost four in the morning.
About five ish, his mom showed up. She hugged me and said she was sorry, that she thought she raised him to not do what his father did to her. But he still did. She helped clean the glass up and her, her husband and their daughter all stayed with me until my parents showed up.
After leaving, they updated me on everything. His step-dad informed me that it was all planned out in his phone, and that he cheated on me that night with the girl who gave him pills. I got an order or protection and the only reason I saw him was for court, which was one of the hardest things for me. Especially since he was pleading un guilty. But, he admitted to the judge how many pills he took at walmart, what kind they were and who his supplier was. He was in jail for almost three months. And the day before my birthday, he got out.
By:
renee1101
Age:
18-21
,
Female
4
responses
