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How Did You All Cope?

It'll be 6 months on Valentines Day that my boyfriend attacked me. I am far away from him, surrounded by my loving family, and have even found an amazing guy. But I'm still having a lot of trouble coping. I still have nightmares that keep me up all night, which isn't good when you have a one year old. Any touch to my neck, any raised tone, any thing that reminds me of what happened, destroys me all over again.

I think my biggest problem is I feel like I have no one to talk to. Well, I do, but they don't know what to say because they don't understand. They haven't been through it. So I feel unsatisfied with a lot of those conversations.

I want to live. I want to be happy and enjoy every day. And most of all, I want to find myself again. Those two years with him were spent with him tearing every part of me that I loved, away. I don't know where to start, so that's why I'm here.

Where I'm getting at..

If anyone wants to talk about their experiences- new or old- and how they are coping with it, feel free. I'd love to help others as much as I need helped myself.

renee1101 renee1101 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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Not having anyone to talk to is the worst part of being in an abusive relationship. Even the most caring person will not understand the dynamics of your relationship and how it got to that point. I find that women who have been in abusive relationships are the only women I can relate to about my situation. I tried talking to my mother and friends but I ended up feeling embarrassed, weak, or just plain stupid for getting myself into that type of situation. Women who have actually been through it are the only people that help me know how strong I was. Here if you need to talk....

The best thing you can do is find support. I mean support form those who can relate. Try to find a support group or a social worker to talk too. It really helps to understand why you were there in the first place also. I would love to tell you it will just go away but it won't it is something you lived through and something you will carry with you. However it doesn't have to define you. You got away but the effects will stay with you for some time. You will learn to cope better in time. You will understand why you are reacting to things the way you are. You will never be that person you were before the abuse but you will be you and free to be the you that you want to be. I wish you well and if you ever need to vent talk or just ask questions I am here for you. Cheers for now here for your support

I know exactly how you feel. I have a loving fiancé. But people just don't understands. It does get better. That I promise you. I have a preliminary hearing soon to do with my ex so I'm a bit of a mess now. But I'm here for you if you ever want to talk. I find it helps talking to someone that's been through it. I used to be the same anytime someone touches my neck, but after a year or so I'm fine with it. You will be too. :) xo

I was there and all I can say is that it gets better, its been four years now. What helped me was therapy just because I felt like I could talk to someone who wasnt judging me for staying. The fear of someone not respecting me lingers on though. keep your head up