Need Strength

I met him in 2011..I didn't really find him attractive but he was so nice at first. I got pregnant 2months later and moved in with him. At first things were good he was so nurturing and good to me. Then the arguements got worse so I moved out. He would come over and check on me and stay over..the arguing continued for the entire pregnacy..somewhere along the way I actually fell in love with him. I had my daughter and wanted to try and make things work..he didn't seem like he wanted too so I dated and so did he. We were still spending time together. He got evicted and needed a place to stay so he moved in with us..I regret doing that soon after he hit me the first time..he apoligized but 3months later he did it again.I called the police and now there is a no contact order...I didn't work and stay home with our 7mth old. Now I might have to live in a shelter since I have no income. Iam heartbroken..homeless and scared. I have always been strong but he managed to breake me down..I need prayers..friends and strength to move on...iam scared and lonely..
mixedpryncess mixedpryncess
3 Responses Feb 19, 2013

You will do fine no matter just move thru it keep moving and u will wake up day on a high road blessings comfort and strength is yours

Mixedpryncess, praying for you. i have been in your shoes starting when I was 22 and with a 3 yr. old. Abusers are insecure and are very needy; more needy then you are, why else did he have to move in with you? I pray you have family, friends or a church family; even a domestic violence support group that can supply you with strength, encouragement, and friendship.. As for me, I moved in with my mom and then when she moved 1500 miles away, I was on my own with a 3 yr.old. Yes, I was very scared. I worked, but it wan't enough, so i started to attend a local community college thanks to a govt grant to single moms; even though I was told back in high school that I was not "college material." I advise you to look into govt programs that can pay for your schooling. Eventually, I was accepted into the honors program and as a result, the majority of my AA was free due to an honors scholarship. I finished my 4 yr degree and I am currently in grad school. There IS hope and a future for you. God has promised you that so don't believe lies that you can't make it. You can. Please check in with me on how you are doing.

I am a domestic violence SURVIVOR. You can do this! He has probably got you so low in yourself that you have forgotten how strong and special you are. I know how scared you must feel, how alone, how mixed up. Abusive relationships are like an addiction. They are the only one who dish out the pain, yet they are the only one who "makes it all better again". (temporarily) I still recall the "sorry presents"....the repentance, the promises....blah...blah...blah. I look back now and shake my head! Healing takes time, tears, friends, counselling and reading up on what healthy relationships actually are. You will need to kinda re-program yourself so that you dont end up in the same type of relationship again. (like I did!) Make a survivor plan. Join a support group. (they are often free or govt funded) I used to write positive affirmations to keep me on track. Stick them on your mirror, in your purse....on your pc. Once you get out of his "clutches" he will have no more power over you and you will be a shining star again. I wish you every bit of courage.