Sporadic Verbal Abuse

Ok, I got married when I was 32 and  have been having lots and lots of arguments with my spanish husband.

You would think, wouldn't you, that after 24 yrs of marriage and having two wonderful children - boy of 23 and girl of 19 who are just MY WORLD so to speak!!!! I adore them......well unfortunately my husband has slagged me soooooo badly that I've been getting more and more uptight - it's usually about money (surprise!!)  but we're not even big-spenders, or about me being untidy as a housekeeper, I also give english lessons.......just got back yesterday from one month's holidays in Scotland, with sister and also with friend up north for a few days.....he was controlling about everything I did and said.......I felt like I was being accompanied by a prison officer ......so one day got realllllly mad with him and dumped him in the middle of Ëdinburgh as he didn't want me to go shopping (I needed to buy stuff!), so I walked off and giggled as I lost him , and a man chatted me up which was good for my morale but I wasn't in the mood for any men  then another time same thing happened and I forgot to turn off my mobile but then just said where I was going (sister's workplace) and as know edinburgh well kept losing him successfully and felt elated and free and the sun was shining!! Have recently lost both my parents (well they were elderly as you may guess) but am still feeling weepy especially about my mom who had vascular dementia and used to be the life-and-soul of the party!!

Anyhow today, we arrived back to a bit of a mess (our kids had been having fun while we were away) and he started on me about not just leaving the plates to drip but also putting them in the dishwasher ..........well I felt violent and closed door on his face, ha ha!! thing is he always acts nice again and without warning starts controlling me---he says the kid's untidiness is due to me (never Mr. Proper!!).

I need to get out of this sit. but do not have a pension , only some inheritance from my mum and we both share that.  So what life is there for me , I am NOT in love with him but he says he is with me!!!!!!!!  I want to feel free but am too old to get a decent job and teaching won't bring in enough.

That's about it, I like sketching , painting poetry reading and having fun now and then and i love relaxing (without him!). I have no regrets in writing this and I am a bit of a romantic and dreamy person, but happy when I can b e so but am afraid of this affecting my lovely sweet children .

Can any1 give me any advice (legal ie rights for married woman without pension - should he die i wouldn't receive one either by the way - he told me this as won't let me sell my shares as he says its my pension!! how sweet of himwell please get in touch one way or another if you so desire................atmywitsend xxx

atmywitsend atmywitsend
56-60, F
Aug 19, 2007