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$217 to Hit Your Wife With a Truck, Then Teach University Ethics In Idaho

No one believes that Jim could be violent.  He's a white male philosophy professor.  No one could believe that I would be the kind of woman who would participate in the abuse.  I'm bright and outspoken.    There were several episodes of slamming my head into a wall.  There were a number of times when I stayed in restraints until I would give into what ever he wanted.  There were painful sex acts.    I learned to hide car keys.  Sometimes I could escape, and when I did I would go have a lot of car keys made.  I'd hide some near my office, some on a path we walked, some in boxes of tampons.  When I got home, I would always have a few on my body as if I were trying to hide them.  He would take those.    I simply accepted that Jim would demand a job in every department where I had a job.  It was necessary if I wanted that job.  I can no longer count the jobs I had to turn down because Jim wasn't offered a job to teach with me.    He said if I left him, he'd take my son away from me.  He did.    For a while, he convinced people that I had a bi-polar disorder.  Then, he decided it was a borderline personality disorder.  Most recently, it's an executive brain dysfunction.    Finally, he went too far.  He hit me with a truck in front of an eyewitness who called 911.  I went to the hospital.  He went to jail.  He was charged with domestic assault, but he plead down to disorderly conduct.  In Illinois, you can run over your wife for $217 and 6 months of probation.  Here's the proof:    http://www.judici.com/courts/cases/case_dispositions.jsp?court=IL027015J&ocl=IL027015J,2000CM172,IL027015JL2000CM172D1    Now the punchline?  You can move to Idaho and teach  PHIL 103    INTRODUCTION TO ETHICS.  Here's that proof too:    http://classes.isu.edu/fall/PHIL.shtml.
Learning Learning 46-50, F 6 Responses Sep 14, 2007

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WOW> I am so sorry to hear all of this. When I tried to press charges, a cop told me that if he had ANY marks on him, he could press charges against me as well. Well of course he would have had marks because I was trying to defend myself.



What a horrible system we live in.

wow is right . I live in Illinois myself an have tried to even get an order of protection an they told me no . Even tho he has a long list of domestic violence charges. I guess there justice system works here they wait till your dead then I guess they step in .

How did it begin for you? Gradually????

Be strong, and believe in yourself. Sounds like you're on the right track. Keep up the good work.

My abusive ex was studying theology with a supposed calling to be a pastor...I know exactly what you mean that appearances can deceive. I'm glad you got away from him, even if had to happen through a hospital stay. Good luck!

I'm an ISU alum (1990). I'm glad you're away from him. Where is your son now?

I am so sorry about what happened to you. I was disgusted and angry when I read about what Jim did to you. Guys like him deserve to be in prison. However, the justice system has its quirks. In other words, it sucks! But remember, he will never escape karma.



This harrowing experience doesn't have to destroy you in any way. You can use this to help other women who have had similar experiences. You will experience healing by becoming an instrument of healing for others.



If you must forgive Jim, do it for yourself. I know it won't be easy, but I trust that you will choose the path to healing. Don't let Jim continue to hurt you through the painful memories that he gave you. And more importantly, love yourself. Don't let anyone abuse you ever again.



I send my love to you.