(empowerment) You Are Not Crazy - Recognizing That You've Been The Victim Of Abuse

These are two links I found invaluable for understanding and escaping from the dynamics of abuse, as well as identifying abusive people and situations in general.

Abusers will almost always try and convince their victims that they're the ones doing something wrong and "causing" the abuse. It's sometimes hard to tell who the abuser is, since covert abusers will cause overt "crazy" behavior in their victims - making the victims look like the "bad guy" while they maintaining their squeaky-clean image. These sites help to clearly identify the traits, roles, etc of the victim, and of the abuser.


MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
2 Responses Aug 3, 2010

That is so very true....He now has my life and my family as I once new it 10 years ago!!! They all think he is funny, loving and sweet, and that I am the crazy one. I left everything for my health and sanity & safety. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he insisted we buy a house out of state and an hour and a half away from my friends and family.... The night before Mothers Day this year I received an e-mail form my beautiful daughter notifying me that I was no longer to any contact with her or my Grandchildren with the oldest being 15 years of age. He (my grandson the 15 yr.old has contacted me and said)!!! Grandma when I am 18 I am coming to find you and I am never going back home again!!!! I have four grandchildren and in 15 years never missed a week of seeing each other, and when I made the choice to leave and went to a shelter for help.....All my Daughter could say was (((((You left him, he didn't leave you))))) And now there isn't a day that goes by that when I think of them I can't seem to catch my breath, and I start to cry!!! He literally took away what was the most precious and most loving people in the world to me..... And I to this day can't breath or stop crying when I think of them and how he has been able to manipulate them in such away that my daughter has chosen him over her own Mother and he is not in any way related to her!!!!<br />
My heart, mind, and soul is numb and I just can't seem to rebound form this one.... my Daughter, son and grandchildren where my life. They are why I fought so hard to fight the cancer as a stage 4 patient (the highest level) after burring my brother 5 weeks to cancer prior , of my great news that I had cancer as well. My husband was so mean and angry with me that I was fighting so desperately to beat the big C monster, he said he should have put a pillow over my face when he had a chance.........<br />
Wow true Love ha!!!! There is much, much, much more I could go on and on... but I think you all get the just of the story.<br />
He got the house and everything that went with it, and that stuff doesn't matter it's just stuff, but now when he has got my family and time with my grandchildren and I am unable to contact them at all......This is a new level of pain for me that I never in this life time have ever felt.<br />
The chemo and radiation and on deaths door step a couple of times during the treatments don't even come close to the pain I am feeling now.<br />
<br />
If I had known now the price I was going to have to pay for leaving him and loosing my loved ones to his talented games he loves to play, I would have never left just to have my Child, and beautiful , loving and kind hearted Babies (grandchildren) back in my life. We are all missing out on so much in each others lives!!! And this is so wrong, the harm is done and with his greatness of brilliancy. (((((((VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION)))))))) This should be his name on his Drivers Lic. and Birth Certificate as a warning to the next ~~VICTOM~~ in his path. I was # 3 and in my 40's!!!! Don't stay run as fast as you can if these warning signs are starting to show in your relationship, if they are refusing to go to counseling with you.....or to get some kind of help for the two of you!!!!!<br />
Love you're self first and them second, once you put them first and you second.... hope is lost forever. <br />
Good luck to all!!!! :) Thank you all and God Bless!!!!!

I haven't checked the site but that also what I have read. These people aren't generally stupid. According to what i'm learning many times they are very intelligent and highly regarded by their peers. They don't often treat peers and family the same as they treat thier partner.