Inspired By A Dear Friend.I've posted experience before, but had taken it down after having become frustrated and removing all of my experiences. But I've been completely inspired by a dear friend who found the courage to share her story.
It may come as a shock to some people, but while women do seem to take much of the abuse in bad relationships, there are the guys who fall victim to abuse as well. It's not easy to come forward or talk about, as it seems in our society it's the norm for guys to bottle up emotions instead of talking about them. It took me almost a year after breaking out of a four year long emotionally abusive relationship to come forward and admit it.
People, me and women alike, please be aware of the signs of an abusive relationship. Sometimes it's hard to tell, because there's always that little fine line between what is and is not okay, and what is and is not abusive. Signs include:
* Verbal abuse
* Withholding love and affection
* Demanding intimacy, sexual abuse may be another sign
* Attempts to isolate you from friends and family
* Their actions and abuse often make you feel like you're the cause of the problems. It usually gets to a point where you make excuses for their bad behavior and take the blame for it.
* Might make physical threats
These were exactly many of the things I experience, with the exception of physical abuse or threats of it. I was verbally abused. I would be the target of these long drawn out bursts of anger that could last as long as weeks, and never know the cause or what I did to deserve it. As a result always took it as something being wrong with me that I caused it and make excuses for the way she treated me. She would flip flop between isolating me emotionally to get her way to trying to control me with intimacy. I wasn't allowed to see my family or speak to them while I was with her, which was difficult being that I live with them -- I actually had to live a double life to make her happy.
Family and co-workers tried to tell me something was wrong with this relationship, but I wouldn't listen at the time. I know it may sound harsh when you hear these things from your family and friends, but they only have your best interests in mind. Please listen to what they have to say before things get worse.
If you feel like you may be in an abusive relationship, please seek help. Often these people their selfs have experienced hardship and were in turn abused. This does not excuse their behavior, and it's not your fault, but they do need help as well.
Be safe and take care!
Omnomonymous 26-30, M 10 Responses 5 Dec 27, 2010