Just Because Its Not Visible Does Not Mean Its Not ThereI know there are many examples of emotional/mental abuse on here, and each one is important. I also know that this form of abuse can come from both men and women. I happened to be on the receiving end of emotional abuse from my wife. She is now my ex..
As a little back story, I had previous issues prior to getting married that prevented me from opening up to people. After joining the military I gained the confidence that my previous issues inhibited, and that is part of what attracted my ex-wife to me.
After about 3 weeks of marriage, I got in trouble, she was part of it, and the confidence I gained was lost. She didn’t seem to care about the part she played in it and only belittled me, making me feel worse. She would have left me early on, but she was pregnant with our son. I was unaware that she wanted a divorce early on, and so she stayed for eight years and we had another kid together, all the while never really supporting me and constantly putting me down, always trying to change me, never accepting me for who I was and she would constantly make me feel guilty about different things, including desiring sex. When things failed to be tolerable for her, she would tell two of our mutual friends that I wasn’t trying hard enough or that I didn’t care and ask them to talk to me. All this was so I could be tolerable, not to help the marriage. I never realized any of this during our marriage, but I came to know this after she told me she wanted a divorce and moved out with our kids.
Therapy has only been able to help so much, and I’m still dealing with the scars she left, and new ones are being revealed as I learn more about what she was doing. I don’t even know how well time will be able to heal this.
Even though the scars are still there, I pretty much healed. The Lord Jesus Christ led others to me who understood what I was going through and comforted me while I was healing.