Coming Up For AirI loved the attention.
After being ignored for so many years I loved that someone thought that I was worth listening to, that what I had to say mattered.
I loved that I felt attractive again, that I felt desired.
I loved that I felt loved.
He never hit me. He rarely said an unkind word.
But he left me suffocating nonetheless, under the weight of his silence.
He ignored me.
When I was in pain, when I needed a hug, when I begged for reassurance and kindness,
when I fell to the floor sobbing...
he ignored me.
It has taken the breath from me, I can no longer speak, breathe, I can barely muster up the energy to lift my head
so damaged is my resolve.
I can feel it, a freshness, a breeze. I will find my strength.
I will tell myself that I deserve better, that there doesn't have to be bruises and broken bones for there to be pain.
It is real, and it is stoppable. I can walk away.
I will walk away.
I am coming up for air.
I will breathe again.