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Brainwashed

I look in the mirror.....I don't even know who I see.  That girl who.....that girl who...that girl who.  Who was I ?  I have no f'n clue.  I lost my idenity and I became my worst enemy. 

I hide every pain. 
I tend others wounds to forget my own. 

Who the F am I ?  

I stand up to all injustices. 
I speak my mind.
I keep my word.


Why did you do this to me?  Why did I let you?  You took my integrity and used it against me.  You took my pride and wiped it on the ground.

Comon it wasn't that bad.....you say. 

I am not taking any more abuse!

What I didn't abuse you.......well maybe a little emotional but comon....you say.  You just overreact.


Why do you do this to me??


You look in the mirror and what do you see........

I look in the mirror and what do I see...what you made me......I became what you said.

flodials flodials 41-45, F 5 Responses Feb 29, 2012

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Worst abuse is an emotional abuse.Because you are the ob<x>ject of abuse and scorn but nobody could see your wounds and injuries that tears apart your body as well as your soul.And, it break down you from inside.

wow...this really hit home for me...very powerful words and emotions. hugs.

Thank you for understanding. This just my beggining......hope it gets better...not too sure though.

this is sadly true for most abused woman. The abuser will never take responsiblilty for his actions, and make the victim think she's crazy for believeing all of this. The abuser also re-victimizes the victim by telling friends and family that it was all her fault or in her head. They will never admit that what they have done is wrong, and that is the most frustrating thing, they will never know the amount of damage they did to someone that truly loved them. They will never feel that pain that the victim feels on a daily basis. I can only hope my abuser will someday get slapped with a dose of reality, and know what it feels like to be hurt by the one you loved the most. I pray to God everyday for him to be awakened and stop living in a distorted reality that he makes up in his head. I want him to feel the pain that I have felt, he tore me down piece by piece. It's been a lot of hard work to recover from what he put me through. But if I tell him that he will just either laugh in my face, or say it was my fault too.