Im Tired Of That Sinking Feeling In My Chest...

i feel so sad tonite...
so tired of that heavy feeling in my chest, the one you get when you know youre being abused

i can keep a clear head above it all, i know that its not me and that this man is an abuser,
a twister-of-words, someone who will never see the error of his ways no matter how i present them to him,
he always turns everything around on me and accuses me of the very things that i accuse him of....
which in regards to me couldnt be further from the truth...

not to sound big headed but i am like the nicest,
most forgiving, loving, person i know... and everyone else says the same.
i guess thats why i make a good target for abuse, im too nice.
why does life have to be that way,
the nice people get treated badly...
so backwards.

i think thats what makes it hurt more than anything, feeling mean words land on my very very soft kind heart.

i hate him and i  want him out of my life so bad... im doing everything i can to make it happen.
but it is a complicated situation and cant be done overnight :(

i have been though various types of abuse and i swear to me this is the worst kind

i need a hug....

lluvialcorazon5 lluvialcorazon5
22-25, F
10 Responses Mar 17, 2012

I know how you feel...I feel the exact same way. I am in my second abusive marriage and thought, both times, that I was making the right choice and absolutely NOT heading towards an abusive relationship. That sinking feeling is so painful. My abusive husband even sleeps in the ba<x>sement...I have no companionship or support. ! wonder at some point if I may end up cheating, out of desperation to have affection. I am grateful to have found this site and I do not feel as alone. Contact me any time if you would like to talk....

((HUGS)) We're all here for you. So much of what you said resonates in me. Just keep reminding yourself that you really aren't the "crazy" one, or whatever he may call you. Those are the days when it's the worst, the days you wonder if the things he says really might be true.... How I hope you don't have children with this man! It makes things so hard. Stay strong, sweetie, and find the quickest and safest way out!

Hugs and prayers

You have my support and hug. Wish you well.

pls try to understand him even if he is not changed leave him but after sometime when he feel he is wrong and guilty then wait for some time to see he is really serious about you if you feel he is really serious about you then pls accept him i know it is hard but if you do then same person love you more thn ever because he knew the importance of you in his life pls do it

most people who abuse never change, they have to really be dedcated to change.... most are not

(((Hugs))) I've been through emotional abuse, and it is torment. I too am a nice kind hearted person who was treated very badly. The best thing I ever did was get rid of him. I had to pick up the pieces of myself and slowly put them back together again. <br />
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I recommend that you go on to the domesic violence hotline web page and get some information about how to leave an abusive partner. <br />
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The sooner you get him out of your life the better off you will be, before he does further damage. <br />
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I wish you the best, and hope everything works out for you.

I'm sending you a great big hug..... please, don't let this man make you feel bad about whom you are........ that is his game, to twist it back to you !!! god for bid he ever looks towards him self and takes responsibility....<br />
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all i have to say is.... run forest ! run ! ! <br />
<br />
you are young u have so much to look forward to (((( hugs))))

i am like the nicest, most forgiving, loving, person i know... and everyone else says the same.<br />
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gypsy said ...>yep that is the reason why he choose you to abuse...

Sinking Feeling In My Chest. <br />
<br />
heavy feeling in my chest, the one you get when you know youre being abused mentally/emotionally....<br />
<br />
gypsy said ...>omg i could not of said it any better. i live with that feeling daily....

heres your hug. I am here for you. I understand your pain. Continue to write it out. I am new to this journey also. Yet my writing and reading helps so much. I get strength from others journeys and slowly start to heal with each of my stories after reading them repeately and crying. It's a struggle. You have the courage to face the page you can face your fears too. Reach out to someone trust in help. We need it after what we have survived. No shame just help. I am here without judgement. An ear for you.<br />
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Good luck and Cheers