Treated Like A Liar

Therapy won't help him. Believe me. You need to leave.

I have just spend 18 yrs with a man you described, we have 3 children and it took me a long time to realize that i was not able to help him. Only when i felt myself getting dragged down with him, i felt as though i lost myself, my spirit. I didn't want to do anything anymore, and my children were suffering. I finally opened up to someone and reality set in, i needed to get out. So i secretly went to counselling, gathered up strength and one day he flipped out, threatened us and we left running. This is recent, so the work on me and my children has begun. I now know there was nothing i could do to help him, he has to help himself. Many doctors visits, meds and he refused counsellilng because he thought there was nothing wrong with him. Now he is being charged, and has to get the help. Doesn't really matter now, but whether he helps himself or not, i am not responsible for him anymore. Only me, and the children. Don't have children with this man, he doesn't deserve you, you need to get out and find yourself. Find the strength within you, there is alot of resources out there to help you. Confide in a friend, counsellor, someone. Do it for yourself hon, you deserve happiness and remember you cannot be the fixer. Only for yourself:) Hugs

Get out now...before any more time passes.. You can't fix him, love can't fix him...Too much time might fix him but you will be blamed for everything...he sees you as his enemy and his fix..The child/children will suffer, as will you and you self worth.

He is an emotional and mental abuser plain and simple. He has issues which he chooses not to address because he is self-entitled, arrogant, and womanizing. I had a similiar experience and although leaving him without a support system was hard it was the most self-defining and encouraging thing that I have ever done. I learned who I was and my own strenght as a woman: the likelyhood is you will too.



This guy knows you love him which is exactly why he won't get help. He plays off your guilt and gets off knowing that you won't ever leave him. He has a low opinion of you and woman in general and is taking his opinion of women out on you. Pressuring you for kids is another tactic to try an make you feel alienated and completely dependant on him. He is abusive and not worth your time.



Regardless of whether or not you are pregnant or have kids; dont let that stop you from leaving.This guy will be a terrible father and your kids will only learn to be like him. Call your family chances are they will help and if they don''t than dont be discouraged there are lots of organizations that will. You cannot subject yourself to his abuse. Abuse is abuse no matter what its form embrace yourself as a woman and dont let fearr and uncertainty rule your life they are tools he planted in your head to make sure you never leave him. Look them square in the face and reach inside yourself for the strenght that only a woman has and step out on your own as a strong independant woman tried by fire and made stronger. I will pray for you. God Bless and remember the woman of EP are behind you.

I have a story for you to read. Well alot of them when it comes to my ex. I went through tremendous emotional abuse. I was ignored and accused. don't allow yourself to keep on accepting your treatment because you are kind. You will loose yourself in pain. Please reach out. Seek help and get out before it becomes life. Looking out for yourself should be your first priority! You can only help you. Don't get lost in his pain and let him drown you. Don't accept excuses. Take you as a prioirty. Kids will only make it worse .......this I know. Please take care of you. Here if you need support.

.....'I've always had physically abusive relationships so this somehow seemed more acceptable but as time passes....'. I think you should go for counselling, so you can build your self esteem. You deserve more than abusive partners and there are lots of non-abusive men out there.



You just need to have enough self esteem to say no to some people and their behaviours. You should stop settling for less.

I would tell him the only way that you would conside having children with him if he goes to therapy first. He needs to make an effort to change. Also, if he does not get treatment things could become worse after you have children, he could become more controlling and violent.

well I cans say I know exactly what you are going threw but I had kids with the man you are describing and now he uses them against me everytime I think I am brave enough to go I am 800 miles away from any one who can help me threw this so I have been asking for what I should do but my advice is if ihurts now it hurts more when kids are involved and every choice hurts if you keep kids out of the equation when you know it is to much you can go