I have been dating my husband for 17 years and we have been married for nearly 12 years.  We have had 3 children, unfortunately our first born son Liam died of a mystery illness when he was nearly 4 six years ago.  Even with this though my whole life has been a struggle as I am in love with a man that I never seem to be able to please.  I do everything for him from making his phone calls to doing all the business accounts, shopping, stocks etc.  I am always on egg shells for fear of the next lot of silent treatment.  He never talks about anything so if I make a mistake he just does not talk to me for days on end or goes awol.  It takes me weeks to find out what it is that I have done wrong and I have to pay for my mistake by being extra nice.  He has a large appetite for sex, 2-3 times a day.  Each of these sessions there has to be a story about someone else or some sort of sex story involving others.  There is never any love making with me it is with the story that I have to tell or that I have to listen to.  I just don't know how to go on.  I feel helpless and ashamed.  I have been a strong person all my life and just feel like I am falling into a deep dark hole and I can't seem to hold on anymore.  I am told by him it is normal.  All men want as much sex and all men fantasize about stories and that I am the abnormal one.  Am I?  We are slowly but surely getting less and less friends, he trusts nobody and feels that everyone is against him so we never have visitors anymore.   The only good thing is we never fight or argue in front of our children, however my daugter is now 8 and very sensative to body language.

I am in desperate need of help and advice, I feel helpless and tired.  Please someone out there help me.

from a distressed lady
liabiakee liabiakee
1 Response May 11, 2012

First of all not all men want sex 2-3 times a day, and do not engage in story telling. So, your husband is wrong by saying ALL men do this. It is your choice to have sex whenever you want, and you do not have to preform any of his role playing requests. <br />
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Second, you shouldn't have to do all that you do for him. While you are doing all this for him, what are you doing for yourself? It seems your whole life is wrapped around trying to please him and keep him happy. Does he keep you happy? Because, marriage is a two way street. If he wants a servent he should hire one. <br />
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This is a form of domestic violence. I'm going to give you the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, on there you can discover what domestic violence is and you can chose to call and talk to a counselor for free. they are open for 24hrs a day. www.ndvh.org<br />
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Start living for yourself and make yourself happy.