Basic Story Of My Abuse

I was abused by a step-father from the age of seven to eleven. I was told everyday that if I told anyone that I would be killed. For five years I dealt with the physical abuse, mental torture and abuse. He would beat me and laugh at me. He found out I was afraid of mice and he tortured me by making me hold a mouse in a jar for an hour while it jumped up and bit my hand. He laughed at me while this happened. On a daily basis he would stick his finger in his anus and rub it across my top lip and tell me that I would never be more than the sh*t on my face. I lost most of my memory during this five years. I can only remember the worst times and some good times. I have been to therapy several times, but just found a good therapist three years ago that helped me find my voice again. For the first time in twenty-four years, I was able to tell my Mom and Husband the details of what happened to me. I sat waiting for him to come and kill me. When he didn't, I started to tell more people. I also told them about the sexual abuse as a child by a family member, sexual abuse as a teen by many people in my life. I now have PTSD and OCD due to the abuse. I recently decided that I could use my voice to try and help other people. If I could help one person not feel alone, or find a way out of abuse, then it was worth it. I am now the author of two books on amazon. My first book "Call Me Crazy, But This Is My Life!", is the story of my abuse and how I survived it through humor. The second book, "Bound By Torment", is the story of living with PTSD and OCD after the abuse. How the bruises fade by the torment remains. I am on a mission to do all I can and to continue finding my voice and releasing my inner child.
Brokenlikeaturtleshell Brokenlikeaturtleshell
36-40, F
2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

Yes I believe in Karma too, and it always comes around. :) I can not wait to read your story. I am sorry that you were molested too. I wish we could take all of the abusers and put them on their own private island somewhere. It is night here too, but I have sleep issues, so I will be up a little longer even though I shouldn't be. Have a goodnight. :)

Wow, that was horrible. I really feel bad for you. If that had happened to me I don't think I would have survived to tell it. You are an extremely brave person. Really, I don't know how you did it. Please don't be "broken like a turtle shell". You are whole and even broken turtle shells can be healed. Sending you healing thoughts. :D

Thank you for your words. I think it was easier to survive because I dont remember much of it. I need to post the turtle shell legend. That is how I came up with the name. Thank you again. :)

I will be posting my own story shortly (that is why I joined in the first place)...not now as it is too late and I really should go to bed. :p So please stay many sick people in this world (I was molested too so I can relate for sure as you will read about when I do post my story) but I believe in karma. Let those people live and deal with what they have done to hurt others. Take care and good night (at least at my part of the world it is night!). :D