Am I Being Mentally Abused???

I've been married for nearly 10 yrs and ha've 4 beautiful daughters ages 2/4/7/9.At first the marriage was great, couldn't complain about a thing, but slowly slowly over time things are becoming unbearable.He doesn't support the family financially, meaning I am left to pay bills buy food etc out of my benefits and after not having enough money to cover everything, he knows it's a struggle but doesn't care and spends his wages on himself! Not once has he bought anything for our children such as clothing, birthday/Xmas presents/DAYS out.HE ignores us but when he does talk he belittles us /swears at us and is nasty, if the girls ask for a hug he tells them to "pissed off" or calls them "little bastards"this really hurts me.Although I'm always home with the kids and taking care of the house he constantly accuses me of having affairs, we haven't had any physical contact sexually for 2yrs almost because he makes me cringe.He gives up jobs and sits at home to the point my house that I put £145, 000 into was repossessed, and I've been declared bankrupt as the jobs I was working whilst heavily pregnant with our 2nd daughter wasn't enough to cover everything.My friends no longer call round as they can't stand the way he treats me/the girls, I've suffered from bad depression as a result of everything as I've tried everything I possibly can for yrs to make our marriage better, asked him to go to counselling etc but he refuses too, he called me today and said he has quit his job again!! I cannot cope with much more, I don't know who I am anymore, and my nine year old hAtes him because she can seewhat's going on and understands it, I cannot even leave my daughter's with him because the last time I returned he was out in our garage and working on his motorbike , the girls were left inside all alone!! I keep telling myself that it's not my fault I've give it my all, but when I try tks end it he tells me he has done nothing wrong, it's me with the problem?? I'd love some people's advice please, I feel very alone, and scared about the future right now.
kerryanneb kerryanneb
31-35, F
2 Responses Sep 21, 2012

hi there kerryanneb me his asissy adult baby 247 and me lives in the uk so will you be kind and chat with me friend baby glencoe2

This is definitely emotional abuse hon, and you know that is probably the worst abuse because its all inside. I as well have been emotionally abused by my ex, still struggling with my emotions. But i know i did the right thing leaving him otherwise i was going down that black hole with him. My children seen everything that was going on, and they as well hated him. He will continue to drag you down, if he doesnt want to try counselling then go for it yourself. Thats what i did, i just went on my own behind his back. I couldnt tell him, he would get mad if i did. But it helped make me stronger, showed me what i needed to do for me and the kids and it made me stronger, until finally i just left. Dont do this on your own, get some help. My local womens shelter helped me, they talked to me and i stayed there for a bit. Remember, you are not to blame, and your kids deserve a peaceful life. They love you and you will be able to do this, i know it, because look at me, i did it. The first step is knowing there is something wrong and you can see that. You are a strong women, and can do anything you put your mind to. If you need to talk more, msg me, ill help and keep talking hon it helps. You can do it :)