My Life Story

For all of you out there reading this I thought I'd share my past. Well here it goes. When I was just a baby my parents fought and my dad did alot of drugs. Then when I was a little older about 4, everyday for about 2 years my parents fought so bad it got to the point were they got abusive towards eachother. I had no one. My sister and my brother hated me, and my parents were always to busy fighting to take care of me. Finally when I was about seven they broke up. It felt like the worst feeling in the world. My mom was broke and my dad had to go off to camp. My dad found another wife and we all were forced to love her and call her mom. One day when my sister was gone I went into her room looking for my cat (he was my only friend) when suddenly I looked down and found a book. I opened it and it had a picture of my family except my face was scribbled out and all around it, it said "it's all her fault. If she was never born they would of never broke up" I was so confused and to little to understand. I showed it to my step mom and she actualy made me feel wanted. A couple years later me and my sister became so close. And my mom and dad kept leaving us. So all we had was our step mom. We went to see my dad at camp, when one night when he was working Ramona (our step mom) got really drunk and had almost killed my sister by suffocation. We went to my dads friends house that night and slept there. Ever since then I have been so affraid if my step mom. My mom tried to give me a councelour but I just kept telling myself that I was fine and didnt need anyone to talk to. My mom is always depressed and mad at everyone. So I pretend like nothings wrong and have to fake a smile everyday for the rest of my life. And that's my life.. Thanks for reading
Kittylovesrainbows Kittylovesrainbows
13-15, F
3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I am sorry for you or anyone like you who has been forced to endure psychological or emotional pain. No one should have to have this sort of pain placed upon them, however, you need to know that no matter how terrible you feel or have felt in the past, there are many times that unfortunate situations are forced upon us. From all the situations that we have to deal with as children or adults the reality of the matter is that there are some situations that we have no control over, some that we can and some that we just have to ride the wave until we can take control of them.
Our past is our past, there is nothing that we can do about it, but it is gone. The only thing that we can do, is not to repeat or continue the unfortunate situations that we were forced to endure. We live in the present and we direct our path into the future. Bad things will come and through each and every one of them we learn, get stronger from it and push through it. No one learn anything from perfect situations, so don't see yourself as a loser, see yourself as a survivor and more prepared for when "****" happens.
So keep your head up and never give up on yourself, because you are the only one you can control.

I am so sorry for your pain. You are so young and deserve support. I want you to know none of what has happened in your life is your fault. Your are just simply a member of life on a journey. Some people have positive life experiences and then there are people like us. Ones whom have had pain thrown at them for no apparent reason. Know you are stronger than most for you have dealt with horrible situations that your friends probably couldn't even understand. I totally understand the fake smile and just keep on moving but you shouldn't have too. There's lots of images of clowns with tears and it how I felt most my youth. So I understand your feelings. I do though encourage you to talk to someone. I don't know if you have a teacher you can trust. There is support for kids like you. My son struggle due to the break up of our family and he is getting help through school. He is 12 and my 15 yr old has a social worker that is available to her at school also. Please know there are people who care and are willing to help you. You are not alone. It may be difficult to tell someone so if you want write in a letter like you did here and give it to someone you think may listen. No one has to get in trouble for you to get help but you do need support. It's there for you. Just trust someone with your feelings. It can get better. I hope it does for you.

Hang in their and please stay strong. i don't know you but i love you

Thank you:/