What Is Emotional Abuse.
What is Emotional Abuse? I've asked myself this question a million times. I never knew the answers and for a long time I was too afraid to find them, I was afraid of what I'd discover. About myself, about my spouse, about our life. Then for some reason in the last couple of weeks I have been feeling more and more out of touch with reality and decided it was time to get some answers to the questions that I had been too afraid to seek. So I started posting anonymous confessions about things going on in my life. Just to get them off my mind. I started reading what people commented and considering what they had to say. Drawing my own conclusions from it. One of my confessions/questions was on this subject and when I went back and looked at the comments people had made. One comment stuck out more than any other. and the comment was "Google it" Google what Emotional Abuse was. and so I did. and the answers that I found were definatly not ones I liked. But they were a reality that I had been hiding from. A reality that I was too afraid to face. No longer. After reading what was there. My eyes were opened to things on a whole new level. My eyes were open to my spouses abuse of me. and while it may not have been intentional. I do not believe it was. For part of his problem stems back to his childhood. It doesn't make his actions any less real. and it doesn't mean that I can hide from them or ignore them any longer. Its time to face what couldn't be faced before. I am no longer afraid. and I can no longer sit by and endure my life and his abuse, as I have done for so long. Intentional or not. Anyway so here I am posting something again. and I decided I wanted to post the questions that I found that helped me see what has been going on. and to help me realize that if things are going to work in my realationship my spouse and I need counseling. Him for his abuse and I for my recovery. and that if he isn't willing or doesn't want to go. I can't stay in the situation any longer, but must do what is right for me. So here they are and I hope that for some of women out there, that suspect themselves of being a victim of Emotional Abuse that these questions will help you see the reality of it, and will help you know that it is not healthy in any way. and if you want have a chance at happiness for yourself. Your gonna have to take steps to change your life. If that means getting the courage to confront your abuser and get counseling to work things out, or if their not willing to do that then it means getting the courage to say it's over and to take yourself out of the situation entirely. Either way You can Not change your abuser. You can only change you. and what I mean by changing you is your courage or lack of it, to be able to put a stop to allowing it to happen. You can do it. Its hard. and it can be scary but you Can do it. You Can say Enough is Enough and get help. Anyway here are the questions that can help you answer what is emotional abuse if you allow them to:
An abusive partner will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.
Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed ob
Are you afraid of your partner?
I hope that these questions have help to answer some of the questions running through your mind. and if so Im glad. Good for you. For being able to see what I couldn't for so long. Now do something about it. You can do it. You deserve better. and the only person that can demand better is you. Good luck. Do not let me leave entirely on this note. For you men out there. Women are not the only ones that suffer this kind of abuse. and some of you men out there may have wives that are just as abusive emotionally as in any relationship in which the abuse is a male to female one. and these questions that I have put up should be ones you ask yourself too. and as an addition to your section I want to add:
"Marry the man today -- and change his ways tomorrow!"
--Lyric from Broadway musical Guys & Dolls
Our culture excessively, irrationally accepts the "I'll Change Him" philosophy, where a woman selects and then "molds" a partner to her liking.
Certainly, equal loving partners may decide to change their physical HABITS to please each other -- but a person should NOT be asked to change their LIFESTYLE, PERSONALITY, HOBBIES, or CAREER CHOICES.
If your partner asks you to be or become a different person, remind them that they originally selected you as yourself. If their preferences have now changed, then they should either attend counseling with you, or admit that the partnership has ended -- so that you will be free to find a new partner who loves you for who you are.
and on an ending note I would just like to repeat to everyone. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!YOU CAN DO IT! YOU DESERVE BETTER! and you are the only one that can demand it for yourself. Good luck to all.
Oh and yeah. For more info on Emotional Abuse take the advice that was given me. "Google it"
and for those that are wanting to know where I found what I posted above. Its at: